Paralyzed By The Fear of Change

We moved a couple of months ago. It's why I haven't written on this blog for a couple of months. We packed up our stuff, departed Austin, Texas a place we loved, and headed for the Midwest. And we love our new location, the smaller town, less traffic and for now great weather. (Oh yeah, winter is coming).

But I have to admit change is hard. Some of the fear is simply knowing all the effort it will take. Moving, for example, requires getting used to and finding new relationships, new service providers and new surroundings. Let's face it - it would be a lot easier to stay put.

Most change on the surface seems like the harder option. Add to that the struggle that we are currently facing, the personal mountain that has us sucking air and we're ready to avoid change at all costs.

But change is an important part of life and a vital component to getting healthy and staying healthy. Change is more than inevitable. It's essential for growth and healing.

So how do we best deal with changes we know are coming.

First, learn what you can before the major change occurs. Get as much information about where you're going or what you're going to be experiencing or who you'll be connecting with. Knowledge matters and frees us in many ways.

Second, embrace the change by figuring out how to maximize its benefit. Find out some ways to have fun in the change. What could you do to add some variety or something special to the process?  On some of our trips up north we took some extra time and saw a few sights along the way. Now that we're here we're exploring every week, finding new things to do and see.

Third, be patient. Remember that it will take time to adjust even with a great attitude. Relationships aren't built overnight and you'll have to grieve what you lost from leaving the last place or giving up the old way.

The good news is that change is your friend. In fact, it can be the glue that holds you together while y ou face the next part of your mountain. Like the waiter hoping for a tip, the best words you want to hear are, "Keep the change."  Keep some in your life. It won't kill you.

Recovery and Restoration: Don't Stay Green!

My little two-year-old grandson is just learning about his colors. The problem is he thinks every color is called "green."

And that of course is normal for someone his age.

However, it's easy for us to think that our lives are only the one color of our struggle. It defines us, runs our lives every day and is what we think about most of the time. And yes, some challenges are pretty life defining. We have a right to say, "If I didn't have this illness (or family struggle or loss), my life would be defined very differently."

But the color of our world doesn't only have to reflect our struggle or the personal mountain we're climbing. If we're going to get better, get healthy or at least make progress on our journey we have to give ourselves permission to think about and live for something else.

While our climb may feel like it dominates our lives these days, it doesn't have the right to own us. Let me suggest a couple of ways to get in touch with that truth.

First, look for ways to help other people and not focus on yourself.  You might be able to offer comfort or encouragement to someone behind you on the path of your climb. Or you can consider just serving in a totally unrelated way. Whatever you choose invest in someone else.  It will color your world in some new and meaningful ways.

Second, be intentionally thankful.  There is always someone hurting more than you. And there are always things we can be thankful for even in the worst of times.  Make a list now and then or pull your family together and just call out some ways you all can thank God for His blessings to you.  An "attitude of gratitude" can change us in dramatic ways.

Third, make a list of ten things you've always wanted to do.  And then pick one or two that you'll try this year. Get out of your "greenness" and put some new color, new excitement, new challenges into your life that have little to do with your mountain or struggle.  Sometimes just a chance of pace and location make huge differences in our perspective.

As Kermit the Frog used to say, "It's not easy being green."  And I would add, "It's not fun being the same color all the time."  Turn up the color in your world.

When The Weather Changes On Your Climb

Our recent Alaska trip reminded me once again that the weather can change in a heartbeat in most mountain settings. One minute the summit tops can be socked in and moments later there will be bright sunshine. Other times you'll be climbing all morning without a cloud in the sky and before long storms are rolling in and danger is ahead.

Most climbers in Colorado know that if you're wise you're on the trail well before dawn so that you get to and off the summit before noon. Afternoon thunderstorms are common there and lighting can be a climber's nightmare even the end of their life.

The same unfortunately is true when we climb life's peaks. We can feel like we're really moving forward, making great progress and finally getting somewhere on our climb only to have a "storm" come out of nowhere.  Someone lets us down, our health changes again, we lose that job offer we thought we had, we take a big financial hit, a relationship crumbles or one of a hundred other possibilities rears its head.

The important thing for any climber is to plan for those possibilities and know what to do when they happen. We have to understand that few climbs will be stress or struggle- free. Bad weather is normal.

First, don't climb alone if possible. Challenges are always better dealt with when you have someone else there with you. When adversity hits you need a friend or two.

Second, know your limits and resources. Some may be able to continue climbing because of their equipment, talents, strength and expertise but not everyone will. Even the best climbers in the world die on mountains because they went too far.  When a life storm hits evaluate before you just carry on.  You may need to slow down or turn around for now.  That's not failure, it's just being smart. As Ed Viesturs says the most important part of a climb is getting down.

Third, learn from others who have gone before you. Smart rock climbers are always learning lessons from others especially about how to handle adversity.  Life climbers must do the same. Talk to people who are climbing a similar mountain to yours. Spend time together, share stories and admit mistakes.  Those same people can help affirm that you can make it. 

We certainly can't control the weather but we can control how we'll respond to it. And we'll be healthier and safer as a result!