What Would It Take To Keep Your Resolutions This Year?

Of course this is the time of year when many people start wondering about their resolutions, turning over of new leaves and hopes to finally win the battle to lose some pounds, start exercising, quit smoking, begin school or conquer their latest mountain.

And my hunch is that most of those people are pretty serious and sincere in January.

Sadly, so many of those hopes, dreams and goals simply never happen. Why? And what WILL it take for us to finally look back and realize we actually did accomplish something in the new year?

I think there are a couple of key ingredients for success. First, we need a crisis mentality. A good friend of mine just discovered that some cancer he had had removed has returned other places. While it was serious before it's a potential personal crisis now.

I know this. He doesn't need anyone's motivation, list of resolutions or accountability partner to fight this now with all of his being. If he doesn't the results will likely be disastrous. And yes we hope that many of our goals aren't that serious but we need to think more that way. For example, we might need to lose ten pounds or more.

What if we started thinking that if I don't lose this weight I could end up gaining more, becoming more unhealthy and perhaps not be able to enjoy my family the way I could if I got healthier? To not lose weight with this kind of thinking could be a crisis. That would probably motivate us a lot more than just a list.

Second, we must have a plan. The old adage, you don't plan to fail you just fail to plan, fits here. Write down not only your big goal but the little goals you need to get there. Have someone doing it with you if possible. Make deadlines for when you will start, join a club or group, start classes, etc.

Ideally, have an accountability partner keeping tabs on you, too. Plan to work and work the plan.

Third, we must get real. So many of our resolutions are just talk, way beyond our resources or ability and discourage us just thinking about them. So start at a realistic trailhead. Make sure you can accomplish the first few steps before you commit to the bigger ones. And if you can't really do this find something else!

Fourth, anticipate and then enjoy your early successes. Dave Ramsey, financial expert, tells couple in large amounts of debt to first pay off the smallest amount. That way they get success and can apply those funds to the next smallest sum. We need to do the same no matter what our goal is. Get to the first plateau and celebrate it, encourage yourself and look forward to the next one.

Finally, remember that God wants you to grow, become more like Jesus and to be the person He intended. Invite Him into the process, ask Him for strength and wisdom along the way.

If you'll tackle your resolutions wisely and with God's help they might just turn into a personal revolution!

Winning Isn't Always The Answer to Success

A few months ago I heard Tiger Woods say this during his recent personal and professional struggles, "Winning takes care of everything."  Oh, if that were only true. Unfortunately for him and many others that's not the case. Winning some golf tournaments, climbing competitions or even a few more arguements doesn't fix the past.

In this context winning is just another drug, a second shot of novocaine to dull the pain of what's happened in our lives. If we truly want to win, even during challenging times, we'll consider a few other healthier or more productive actions.

We'll ask forgiveness if we need to. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to be honest and simply tell those we've hurt that we're sorry for the hurt we caused them. We ask them to forgive us though they may never forget what we did. They don't have to forget.

We'll make necessary changes. Come hell or high water we will NOT stay the same. We will bring people into our lives who will hold us accountable, remove actions and temptations that plague us every day and substitute new behaviors and thinking for the old. When we own our mistakes and actions everything does being to change.

We'll look deeply at what got us or our relationships into trouble in the first place. It's not easy to look deep inside and see things that are out of line, thinking that is skewed or attitudes that need adjustments.  But that's the place we must go if we are to find any tumors that have caused us to be where we are.

We'll apply our faith to it all. God is all about second and third and fourth chances. And while there may always be consequences we will have to live with, God wants to forgive us and offer us a new start. That's where our faith really gets tested and grows.  Sometimes I think God allows us to go through challenges and face mountains just so we will grow in ways we would not otherwise.

No, winning doesn't change everything. It's our hard work and desire to grow from the past that does.  Start now.

Sometimes Getting Started Is The Hardest

I was flying recently and as we readied for take off I noticed the young girl across the center aisle with her coat over her face. The jet raced down the runway and took off beautifully. I love to fly so every trip is still pretty exciting for me.

However, within seconds of leveling off the woman's coat went back into her lap. I looked again her way and she just smiled. "Not real big on flying?" I asked. She responded, "Well, I don't mind the flight part I just don't like taking off."

That same feeling is true of many people facing a mountain in their personal world. They know they need to take some first or next steps but it's scary to get started. The take off is the worst part.

So what can you do if you're feeling a bit paralyzed or fearful about starting out?

First, remember that lots of people just like you have done this before and survived. Just as thousands fly on planes every day and arrived safely, so have people taken on mountains like yours.

Second, by starting out you don't have to take on the whole mountain. Climbing always takes place one step at a time. It's like dieting, exercise or any other new venture those first steps are the hardest and most important. Set out a short and realistic goal or plan out just the next thing you need to do and do it.

Third, get someone else to encourage and even walk with you.  On real mountains climbing alone is rarely wise. The same is true of life mountains. Find a friend who will at least help you make it to the trailhead and get going.

Finally, remember the goal. As we say about mountains the view from the top is worth it. Don't forget what it is you need to overcome, how much better life will be when you do make it and the impact your overcoming will have on others. Ask yourself what the cost will be if you DO NOT start.

Fear doesn't need to paralyze you. In fact, it has no right to do that. So overcome it. Go down the runway or head up the trail. Get started. Usually that's one of the hardest parts.

The Power of Remembering Our Last Summit

Climbing will at some point be hard for most people. If it's not ever hard then perhaps we're not stretching our abilities and attempting challenges bigger than we are. When it comes to life's mountains though we don't usually get a choice. They usually just start hard.

And while the journey and climb will probably be overwhelming at times and more than we can bear, there is something that can keep us motivated to continue. It's remembering our last success, the latest summit. It's going back in our minds to the moment we stood on top of that mountain, looked at the view and embraced the accomplishment and the moment it gave us.

There was a practice that God gave the Jewish people in the Old Testament.  Now and then he told them to build a monument using twelve large stones to remind them of something special He had done for them at that spot. It was their remembrance that with His help they could get through something just as difficult again.

We need to have those summit experiences as the monuments in our minds that keep us going when the new climb gets difficult. It wouldn't be all bad to just carry a picture from a previous climb. Or in the case of a life climb, we can get our pictures from the words of a friend, talking about our last success or even a momento with a few words on it that remind you that you'll make it.

Whatever works for you, do some remembering. Go back periodically and write or talk about those summits you've done. Do a blog if you're so inclined. I know one author who carries a small toy around with him wherever he goes. Others wear a cross, some carry a card with a helpful motto on it. There are scores of ways to easily remember what you've done and which will motivate you to continue even when you're feeling pretty bad.

Remember to remember. It may be part of your climbing gear and lifeline that gets you to the top.

Most Journeys Are More Like a Marathon

I just finished my 150th post on my Safe At Home blog. Compared to some bloggers and writers that's a drop in the bucket. However, put my total next to many others and  I appear like a novelist.

Whatever your perspective, I'm pretty thankful I've lasted this long. While I love to write it would be easy to think that I'm out of ideas or it's just not worth putting in the time. But over a couple of years quite a few readers seem to have been helped by my sharing while others are just finding out that they too can learn something from an older, more experienced guy.

My total, whatever it represents, does remind me that most good things and the overcoming of most challenges requires a long-term effort and commitment. Anybody can start most anything. Only a few in the big scheme of things finish or last.

Lots of people start to write novels, but how many Grishams are there? Myriad climbers have begun the trek up Everest, but only a small percentage make it to the top. Thousands have started music lessons but there are relatively few virtuosos.

So what is typically true of finishers, of those who reach the upper echelons of their craft, talent, relationships or climb?  A couple of things.  First, they understand from the beginning that their commitment must be for the long haul. While they can enjoy the small victories, they only savor the larger gains. They think in terms of the big picture.

Whether their journey is their marriage or the overcoming of a major illness, their mindset is the same. Small disappointments and setbacks may discourage them but they are not defeated. There's a wonderful challenge in the New Testament that speaks to this way of thinking.  "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair . . . struck down, but not destroyed."  (II Corinthians 4:8)

Second, they sacrifice the good for the best.  They realize that there are certain things that may be desirable that they must lay aside if there are to reach their ultimate goal. I remember years ago hearing a young high school boy play one of the most incredible trumpet solos I had ever heard at Interlochen Music Camp. We knew the director of the orchestra and mentioned our enjoyment of his playing and how impressed we were.

The director smiled and simply said, "Remember, he gave up most everything else to play like that."

Third, they always have a greater purpose or goal in mind beyond the present. Most people who prevail in life have something or Someone within them that spurs them on. Some find their power in God Himself. I believe He's the greatest and most important power we could ever know. Others get their strength from a hero, parent or friend. While yes, selfishness has produced dramatic results in many who achieve great things, it rarely produces great things in great people.

So whatever you're doing and whatever you deem in that to be important, remember that it will require more than starting to be successful. You must see beyond the present and beyond yourself. And when you do your likelihood of completing your daunting journey is dramatically increased.