Are You Really A Winner or Not?

I watched two vastly different scenarios this weekend during the Winter Olympics. One athlete came from out of nowhere and won the gold. The other was expected to win or at least medal and didn't even come close.

Who won? It depends. In human, Olympic terms, the gold medalist won. The other was a disappointment at best. But the real winner will be the one who responds with a winning attitude.

What would a winning attitude look like?  Certainly it would not be without sadness. After all that work, training, money and time given to the pursuit of a medal only an automaton would not feel great emotion in missing out on a prize. But a winning attitude can still bring great outtcomes and benefits in the months and years ahead.

Four time World Champion Christopher Bowman never won a figure skating medal. Neither did Rudy Galindo or Nicole Bobek. In professional sports, Charles Barkley, Dan Marino and Ted Williams didn't win a championship either.

But those who don't win the big one, don't summit their Everest or McKinley, can still win in life.  What will it take?

First it requires thankfulness. How many people actually get the chance to be in the Olympics, the championship game or on the slopes of an 8000 meter peak? For the rest of us, how many people get to live to be our age, have the advantages or relationships we have or enjoy the education, experiences and blessings we have been given? Be thankful for something.

Second, it requires a healthy view of oneself.  If our worth is tied up in our achievements and accomplishments then that worth can be snatched a way in one loss of an edge, one missed basket, one failed exam or one setback to our health. We must know that our ultimate worth only comes from the One who made us. No one can take that away.

Third, it requires humility. When others outperform us, when someone else gets the top prize or is more successful we must humbly let them have their moment, celebrate with them not in spite of them. Maybe you need to encourage someone else right now as a way to actually live this one out.

So if you feel like you "lost" something this week, month or year, if that goal you were reaching for slipped away at least for now, still enjoy the moments you've been given. Don't be paralyzed. Let this loss challenge and motivate you to keep going and to never quit climbing. Someday you'll be at the top of some mountain and the view will be worth it!

Updating Your Attitude App

If you own a smartphone with applications on it you know that quite often a message comes telling you the app needs an update. Sometimes it's just a small thing, other times it involves a pretty significant change.  Nonetheless, if those apps never get tweaked they will become old, outdated and ineffective.

In the same way, we climbers will need our attitudes updated from time to time if we're going to continue overcoming and making it up our personal mountain. Why?  Because life, hard climbing,  and challenges take their toll on our attitudes. They can slowly cause our inner person to deteriorate without us even noticing.

For example, we can become complacent and just not want to try as hard. Or we get discouraged and simply want to quit. Or we're thinking so far ahead about all we may face that we have little energy left to deal with what we are facing right now.  We can forget to be thankful because we're overwhelmed by the hardships we encounter every day and substitute anger or bitterness instead.

We can become bitter because the climb seems to never end.

So how do we update our apps . . . I mean attitudes?  First, we need to get around more positive people.  No, not mere blue sky painters but people who will help us regain our perspective and see our blind spots.

Second, we need to regularly take inventory of how we are blessed. Start thanking God for everyday things that you still have even though you're facing a major challenge right now.

Third, go serve someone else. If you're a cancer patient go sit or ride with someone else going through cancer treatments too. Get you eyes off of you and onto them for awhile.

Or, talk to someone about it, a counselor, pastor, friend or mentor. Let them shed some light on where you are and how you might change your thinking in other ways.

I don't know about you, but the apps on my phone are changing all the time. It's normal and OK. So don't be afraid to do regular updates on your attitudes. They usually affect everything.

Find the Gold On Your Climb Today

A couple of summers ago my wife and I got to take an Alaskan cruise/tour. As I've talked about in earlier posts it was fantastic and we would go back in a heartbeat.

However, one of the fun things included in our schedule was a stop at a functioning gold mine and the chance to pan for gold. Having never done that before my wife and I like many others were pretty shaky in our technique.

I found myself swirling these little stones, sand and water around being fearful that I was going to lose the flecks of gold in the process. However our instructors reminded us that gold is the heaviest thing in the pan and it will stay in the pan as it settles to the bottom. Sure enough after a good number of minutes we were left with just the gold. I still have those flecks of it in a drawer at home.

So often in life challenges or relationships we too can spend a lot of time on things that don't matter that much and miss the gold.  It's right there in the pan but we get all caught up with the other stuff.  What might gold look like?  Here are a couple of suggestions.

Gold might be the good things that come out of our challenges.  You may be going through an especially rough period right now.  And when those times come we can start feeling sorry for ourselves or stay focused only on the hard parts. Sometimes we need to see the little gold nuggets of good that are coming out of our climb and be thankful for those.

Gold might be the little positive things a child or spouse does even when we're not getting along or doing well. Go find some gold in that person today and you might look at them differently and handle the resolution of the conflict more positively.

Gold might be an opportunity to help someone else today rather than just focus on your own stuff.

God could be stopping and noticing the miracle of life, a sunrise or a mountain view that takes your breath away.

Get the idea?  As they used to say, "There's gold in them thar hills," look for bits of gold in your world.  You'll be richer for it.

Going On Even When Bad Things Happen

There was a poignant movie that came out in the last few years called Super 8. It describes a time during the summer of 1979 when a group of friends witness a train crash and investigate subsequent unexplained events in their small town.

But there was an especially profound line in that movie that I've not forgotten.  Bad things happen but you can still live.  Unfortunately, a lot of people who face big time challenges or mountains in their lives don't know that. They somehow think that real, meaningful and purposeful life for them ended at some point. They feel paralyzed and spend most of their time just existing not living.

The good news is that we don't have to allow our circumstances to dictate whether we can still embrace life or not. Yes, there may be obstacles to overcome and life may be forever changed in some way but we can still live fully and vibrantly.

Here are some suggestions that might help.

First, take inventory and be reminded and thankful for what you still have.  Do you still have family, a home, resources, certain aspects of good health?  The list will depend on what you have and have not lost. Everyone's situation will be different. But be thankful for and enjoy what is still there. It matters.

Second, go do some things that you still enjoy. Music, sports, recreation, dancing, reading, socializing.  Go at your own pace, you may need to grieve or recuperate but start somewhere. Move. Depressed people often stay depressed because they think they can't function normally anymore. That's a lie and you need to convince yourself of that by taking action.

Third, serve someone else. It might be for someone going through something similar to yours or who is actually behind you on their journey. Go and care for them, teach them what you know while still growing yourself.  Often when we focus on others we get the attention off of us.

Finally, pray. You may not have a faith or spiritual background but I am confident that God is strongest when we are the weakest and that it grieves Him, too, to see us stuck. Ask Him to give you new strength, perspective and initiative. He still has a purpose for you, you know.

Yes, bad things happen to us all and they are not all our fault.  But we can take them on and still live.  In fact, we must. There's lot of life to still be lived.

 

The Climber's Top Ten Thanksgiving List

I'm thankful:

1. For the pain and hard breathing that remind me I'm still alive.
2. For how far I've come.
3. For the glimpses of the summit I periodically get.
4. For my fellow climbers who urge me onward.
5. For beautiful views I enjoy along the way.
6. For supernatural help I sense especially during the hard times.
7. I haven't quit yet.
  8. That my journey has taken me to heights I could have missed.
  9. For each new success I embrace as I head for the top.
10. For the hope that swells within me that I will overcome this.