Staying Put Is Rarely A Good Option

Most climbers know what I'm talking about. You get to a point in your climb where you're so exhausted (or at least you think you are) that you can't go on or simply stuck not knowing how to go up or down. Your mind begins to race panicked about your next move or you slowly start to shut down thinking that there is little hope anymore for success.

And if we give in to either of those emotions we can become paralyzed of sorts. We simply can't move whether we still want to or have abandoned our quest. But we cannot stay put. When climbers struggle and high altitudes in the Himalaya we're told that they often want to just sit down and quit. Their fellow climbers must sometimes literally yell at them to keep going or pick them up if they can and get their feet moving downward again.

The challenges of life can be like that, too. They seem like Everest. We're exhausted from months, even years of trying, and our tendency is to just sit down and quit. To stay put.

Don't.

Paralysis almost always leads to depression. Depressed people literally think that they can no longer do anything to change an outcome or their reaction to it. Thankfully, that is rarely true. We can always do something and therefore we must always keep moving.

How?

Start by asking some other people to help you. Climbing alone is always more dangerous. Find wise, helpful, caring people to walk up your mountain with you. Put aside your pride and secure a fellow-climber or two. See a counselor or pastor but call out to someone to help you move on.

Second, take a step. Just one step. But find out something you can do next. Maybe it's calling that friend or a doctor or counselor. But maybe it is helping someone else out. Perhaps you need to start volunteering somewhere. Go for a walk, see a movie, start or continue a hobby.  But take a step.

Third, remember. Remember how far you've come. I always love looking down from various places on a hike or climb and seeing the ground we've covered up to that point. It's amazing. Amaze  yourself by thinking about the road you've travelled thus far. It can help you move on. 

Fourth, get a follower. There's someone who isn't as far as you who needs a person who has been up the road before them. Look for that person. Ask around. Become their guide even though you both have a ways to go.

Remember, staying put isn't a great option. The good news is that you don't have to. Never quit climbing.

Everyone's Capable of Falling

My wife was recently in the hospital for some unexpected gall bladder surgery.  However, when she got back to her room I noticed among the assortment of security bracelets she was given, she was wearing a bright yellow one with the words FALL RISK on it. Because she had had anesthesia she was going to be a bit wobbly for a while so everyone around her got a warning. Good idea.

It might be a good idea however if we all wore one of those bracelets all the time to remind us all that we too are always capable of falling. We too are at risk.

We may have had a personal mountain to climb or be on one made of granite but we're all capable of falling. We may think that our youth or resources or confidence or even faith trumps all stumbles but none of them are guarantees.

We would all be wise to do all we can to prepare for the possibility of a fall. Should we live terrorized or in fear all the time?  Of course not. Should we never take any risks because we might go down? Never.

But we must never get cocky thinking that somehow our skills or whatever will keep us from the worst. What does that mean in our climbing?

First, it means we climb as well-prepared as possible. We take what we need for the kind of climb we're on. We take all the "gear" we need including things that we'll need in an emergency. You'll need to decide what that is or talk to some experts depending upon whether you climb is cancer, divorce, job loss or the Matterhorn.

Second, we surround ourselves with the people we need with us.  We don't get cocky thinking that we don't need others to help us on our climb. If we're grieving we get with others who've grieved before us. If we're depressed we find others who've been up the trail before us.

Third,we admit that we too are capable of falling during this climb - morally, spiritually, emotionally or yes even physically. But our admission of that possibility keeps us thinking clearly and avoiding unnecessary chances that could be destructive and harmful.

So, whatever you're climbing during this season remember you're a fall risk, too. That doesn't make you weak, however, just smart!  And more likely to make it to the top!

Sometimes a Next Right Step is Better Than A Big One

I was watching the U.S. Open for golf recently and heard commentator Johnny Miller say this when one of the pros was in a particularly difficult spot:  When you get in trouble just get out of trouble.  His point was that sometimes when a golfer hits a really bad shot he or she tries to then hit a spectacular one to make up for the loss. And often the results are worse.

The same is true in life climbing. We may run into a major snag on our journey, one caused by our own miss-hit, life in general or someone else's actions. It doesn't matter what the cause is. It's usually best to simply do what will get us out of the current trouble and not try to fix everything all at once.

Perhaps our health got worse, our marriage didn't improve, we got laid off instead of just a pay-reduction or our child rebelled even more rather than return home. It's tempting to overreact and do way too much when that happens rather than take a logical next, but perhaps less ambitious, step.

There are several bad outcomes if we don't heed Johnny Miller's advice.  First of all, we will probably hurt other people. Our desperation to fix the problem in a big way or to solve everything now usually initiates a lot of pressure on others as we demand that things get better. As a result we speak harshly or act inappropriately towards those who have been there for us all along.

Second, we can make our situation worse. Like the golfer whose shot into the woods next lands in a sand trap, our lack of patience can cause our world and the world of those around us to become even messier, not better. Our health declines, we spend too much money, we ruin a relationship or whatever because we thought we could fix everything now. It rarely works.

Third, we can hinder future options that could ultimately help us. Sometimes we just need to get out of the current trouble by focusing only on what just happened and how to take one small step toward a solution.

If you're in an out of bounds situation on your journey, focus only on what will help you get back to normal, back to safety and health.  You don't have to have a major jump forward here to keep all the momentum going. Just get from out of bounds onto the fairway. Hit a short, easy shot that will set you up for success and future growth.

A little trouble now can ward off a lot of trouble and struggle later.

Don't Leave Safety Up To Everyone Else

I remember when I went for my first lessons at the climbing gym. They showed us how to tie our knots and then made us tie them over and over. They showed us  how to check our gear and we did it again and again. And when we hadn't been there for awhile they made us do another safety check just to make sure we knew what we were doing.

They knew that a fall from 20  - 65' was probably deadly. And most of the time it was going to happen because we weren't concerned enough about safety. Yes there were times when doing the knot or the check one more time was annoying but I'm glad they were ruthless about safety. You literally got fined if they saw you start climbing and not do your check beforehand.

You see, being safe, although accidents out of our control can happen, is mostly about us and our diligence in making sure we've done our part. The same is true during life climbs. We need to listen to those around us or those who've gone before us and take their advice about safe climbing. What did they learn was helpful?  What kind of protection did they put in place that at least limited their falling during the hard times?

Who did they partner with and what strategies were helpful in climbing through their struggle or tragedy most effectively? Sure, we all go through things differently just like no two climbs on a mountain are exactly the same.  However, that doesn't mean we throw all safety precautions to the wind and ignore the expertise of others. 

In fact, climbers usually tell you to do your safety check and then check it again. I remember a time or two when I would have sworn everything on my harness and rope were exactly as they should be only to have my partner check something and find it was wrong or at best incomplete.

Being safe requires humility, not demanding that you be right all the time. There are worse things than being wrong and one of them is having an untimely death. The more passionate you are about safety the more you can truly enjoy your climb or at least be assured that you'll make it to the top.