Paralyzed By The Fear of Change

We moved a couple of months ago. It's why I haven't written on this blog for a couple of months. We packed up our stuff, departed Austin, Texas a place we loved, and headed for the Midwest. And we love our new location, the smaller town, less traffic and for now great weather. (Oh yeah, winter is coming).

But I have to admit change is hard. Some of the fear is simply knowing all the effort it will take. Moving, for example, requires getting used to and finding new relationships, new service providers and new surroundings. Let's face it - it would be a lot easier to stay put.

Most change on the surface seems like the harder option. Add to that the struggle that we are currently facing, the personal mountain that has us sucking air and we're ready to avoid change at all costs.

But change is an important part of life and a vital component to getting healthy and staying healthy. Change is more than inevitable. It's essential for growth and healing.

So how do we best deal with changes we know are coming.

First, learn what you can before the major change occurs. Get as much information about where you're going or what you're going to be experiencing or who you'll be connecting with. Knowledge matters and frees us in many ways.

Second, embrace the change by figuring out how to maximize its benefit. Find out some ways to have fun in the change. What could you do to add some variety or something special to the process?  On some of our trips up north we took some extra time and saw a few sights along the way. Now that we're here we're exploring every week, finding new things to do and see.

Third, be patient. Remember that it will take time to adjust even with a great attitude. Relationships aren't built overnight and you'll have to grieve what you lost from leaving the last place or giving up the old way.

The good news is that change is your friend. In fact, it can be the glue that holds you together while y ou face the next part of your mountain. Like the waiter hoping for a tip, the best words you want to hear are, "Keep the change."  Keep some in your life. It won't kill you.

What Would It Take To Keep Your Resolutions This Year?

Of course this is the time of year when many people start wondering about their resolutions, turning over of new leaves and hopes to finally win the battle to lose some pounds, start exercising, quit smoking, begin school or conquer their latest mountain.

And my hunch is that most of those people are pretty serious and sincere in January.

Sadly, so many of those hopes, dreams and goals simply never happen. Why? And what WILL it take for us to finally look back and realize we actually did accomplish something in the new year?

I think there are a couple of key ingredients for success. First, we need a crisis mentality. A good friend of mine just discovered that some cancer he had had removed has returned other places. While it was serious before it's a potential personal crisis now.

I know this. He doesn't need anyone's motivation, list of resolutions or accountability partner to fight this now with all of his being. If he doesn't the results will likely be disastrous. And yes we hope that many of our goals aren't that serious but we need to think more that way. For example, we might need to lose ten pounds or more.

What if we started thinking that if I don't lose this weight I could end up gaining more, becoming more unhealthy and perhaps not be able to enjoy my family the way I could if I got healthier? To not lose weight with this kind of thinking could be a crisis. That would probably motivate us a lot more than just a list.

Second, we must have a plan. The old adage, you don't plan to fail you just fail to plan, fits here. Write down not only your big goal but the little goals you need to get there. Have someone doing it with you if possible. Make deadlines for when you will start, join a club or group, start classes, etc.

Ideally, have an accountability partner keeping tabs on you, too. Plan to work and work the plan.

Third, we must get real. So many of our resolutions are just talk, way beyond our resources or ability and discourage us just thinking about them. So start at a realistic trailhead. Make sure you can accomplish the first few steps before you commit to the bigger ones. And if you can't really do this find something else!

Fourth, anticipate and then enjoy your early successes. Dave Ramsey, financial expert, tells couple in large amounts of debt to first pay off the smallest amount. That way they get success and can apply those funds to the next smallest sum. We need to do the same no matter what our goal is. Get to the first plateau and celebrate it, encourage yourself and look forward to the next one.

Finally, remember that God wants you to grow, become more like Jesus and to be the person He intended. Invite Him into the process, ask Him for strength and wisdom along the way.

If you'll tackle your resolutions wisely and with God's help they might just turn into a personal revolution!

Mountains Are Always Unpredictible

I am writing this post from Ft. Collins, Colorado. You can see the mountains at times from here but most often you only see the foothills unless you're in just the right place. Driving here from Texas however reminded us often that you never know what to expect when you head for the higher elevations.

At one point the big mountains were encased in clouds and then thirty minutes later the sun was shining through those same clouds. Not long after it looked like the skies were about to open up from an approaching thunderstorm and yet we only experienced a few drops of rain where we were.

I think back to climbs of 14er's we've done over the years and remember the sleet, hail and even lightning we encountered after starting out in blue sky and perfect temperatures. You never know.

It is wise in life climbing to also remember and accept that our mountains may not always give us what we thought they might. Pain comes unexpectedly, people let us down, our bodies don't heal or perform as we'd hoped and the trail is steeper than we could have imagined. Storms come out of nowhere some of the time.
God allows challenges to come our way even though we don't understand the reason.

So, how do prepare for life in ever changing mountain surroundings?   There are no ways to keep bad things from happening but we can do a few things to prepare well.  Let me suggest some:

First, accept the unpredictabilities of your climb. If we at least expect that it probably won't be easy at some point we'll be more prepared and better able to handle the challenges without giving up. We would love to have every day be a blue sky day (and there are some to be sure), but we're wiser to plan for sudden changes. They are more likely.

Second, listen to the wise people around you who have walked the trail before you. Most of our predecessors knew what they were doing and so they speak truth worth listening to. Remember the outstanding climbers in 1996 who knew and were told to be off the summit of Everest by a certain agreed upon time but didn't listen and follow the guidelines of other experienced climbers. They died in part because they didn't listen to the wise voices continuing to speak truth to them.

Third, be as prepared as  you can before you leave.  I have written about this in other posts so go back and look  one up that talks about things you can take with you (and not take with you) on your climb.

Remember, mountains have no nationality, personal preferences or loyalties to anyone. They are what they are and often that means dangerous so it's up to us to know what we will do in spite of their unrelenting fierceness.

Unexpected challenges on a climb of any kind should be a welcomed adventure not a horrible tragedy. 

Overcoming, Like Climbing, Is Always Risky

I remember one of my first attempts at any serious rock climbing. A group of young dads had taken one of our kids out to Colorado for a four-day weekend adventure.  One of those days included some climbing and rappelling all under the tutelage of some experienced guides.

The main route that they had set up for us was pretty challenging, at least for us, and we spent a good part of the day doing the route or watching others tackle it. But after a while, the guides told us there were a couple of other routes we could try if we wanted a little more challenge. So a friend of mine, a body builder, strong-as-an-ox kind of guy, and I decided we would go for a little more.

He started up the one route as I looked on. And I saw him struggle significantly, especially at one point in his climb, but eventually he made it. So now it was my turn. And sure enough I got to the same place where he had difficulty and saw no way to make it any further. To do so would require a significant go-for-it moment that I was pretty sure I was not going to succeed in doing.

Of course I was safely roped in.  Missing the move wouldn't kill me but it might mess big time with my pride and personhood. Nonetheless, my friend encouraged me on. And within a few minutes I was touching the top of the ledge with a big smile on my face and some new confidence and pride in my soul.

A lot of us as we climb through life may find ourselves stalled because of big challenges or moves in front of us. We may feel like turning back or giving up. The risk might seem high and perhaps it is.  But will you ever get to the next step of your journey if you don't try?  Could you be missing out on a level of satisfaction, happiness and fulfillment that you would never have by staying put?

Even in your difficulties what will be the benefits of turning back or giving up?  There aren't many, if any.

What keeps you from going on?  Fear? Lack of confidence? Past failures? Pride?  Don't let those things paralyze you.

This week, this month, this year, take a healthy risk that you haven't taken before.  Try something new, meet some new people, go serve someone else, go for it. Let the encouragements of friends spur you on but trust the power of the rope - God, others, past successes.  Remember the view from the top is worth it.

The Small Things Can Make All The Difference on a Climb

When I first changed the name of our site and blog to Never Quit Climbing, I would periodically type it wrong and it came out Never Quite Climbing. Thankfully I saw my error each time before I published something embarrassing.

However, that would have been an unfortunate result had I missed my mistake, right? One little added letter would have totally altered the intent from a very strong and motivating challenge to a pretty lame motto.

Unfortunately, it's often those little things that we add to or omit from our life climbs that can also change everything.

For example, adding a great attitude is huge. Being positive, staying thankful and encouraging others along the way keep us from getting paralyzed and defeating by the size of our task. For one thing people with great attitudes find a lot more people who want to travel the journey with them. Bad attitudes generally send good people away.

Second, add some humor to your journey. Sure, being funny all the time can be a form of denial but some laughs now and then can help. Watch some fun stuff online, go to a comedy club or just laugh with friends. Even make a little fun of yourself and how you react at times.

Third, omit big decisions. When you're exhausted and overwhelmed emotionally is not a good time to decide on something significant like moving, marrying or changing jobs unless circumstances like an employment issue dictate it.  Let others help you think those kinds of options through before you even move forward a little bit.  They can usually see things you do not.  Big choices can sometimes be a form of painkilling that can have more harmful effects than helpful ones.

Fourth, think about adding some prayer and other spiritual input into your life. Maybe you've not been much of a religious person up until now. Think about starting, getting a taste of what it means to connect with God who loves and understands you. If your former experiences weren't good try something new and different. There are lots of churches out there that are very different from what you grew up with.

You see, sometimes the smallest little actions or decisions can make a big difference down the road. Think about what that could look like for you this week.

New Year's: Not Just The Same Old, Same Old This Year

So how many New Year's mornings is this for you? Twenty, thirty, forty or more? Lots of parties, gatherings with friends, celebrations, fireworks, good food and drink the night before and a nice, quiet start to the year afterwards, right?

Good for you. However, how many times, during the weeks to follow, would you say there was some significant change in your life? How many of those resolutions you made really took root and flowered in you?

My hunch is there weren't that many. And while there's nothing magical about starting something new in January perhaps it's worth thinking about why we don't move forward and the dangers of just staying put.

I think one of the biggest problems is not that we don't take some great leap ahead, but that we never get started. But think of it like climbing a mountain. If you just look at the summit, the biggest part of the goal, you'll never get anywhere. That's what a lot of people do with New Year's resolutions. They decide to finally lose sixty pounds but never take the first step toward shedding three.

They determine to finally look for a job that they love or feel called to and then never send out one resume. The summit is just too daunting.

So, the answer? Start with just ONE fundamental change that you plan to stick with for three months. If you're going to start working out, make that change something like walking for a half - hour five days a week always at the same time. Do it religiously. Don't let anyone stop you if possible. At least have it become such a habit that if you miss a day, you will go right back to it.

If you plan to slow down your life and spend more time with your wife and kids, start putting that afternoon or evening in your week that you are going to commit to be home. Get it on your calendar and hold to it. It's a small change but it's a fundamental one and will start to etch a new way of living and thinking into your lifestyle.

Do it for three months without adding or subtracting anything. Then evaluate and starting raising your goals and objectives to a higher level. Before long your habit will have become a lifestyle and bigger gains will come more quickly.

And come next year, you'll look back and say, "Yes, resolutions can be more than just talk. And I really did make it to the summit."

Recovery and Restoration: Don't Stay Green!

My little two-year-old grandson is just learning about his colors. The problem is he thinks every color is called "green."

And that of course is normal for someone his age.

However, it's easy for us to think that our lives are only the one color of our struggle. It defines us, runs our lives every day and is what we think about most of the time. And yes, some challenges are pretty life defining. We have a right to say, "If I didn't have this illness (or family struggle or loss), my life would be defined very differently."

But the color of our world doesn't only have to reflect our struggle or the personal mountain we're climbing. If we're going to get better, get healthy or at least make progress on our journey we have to give ourselves permission to think about and live for something else.

While our climb may feel like it dominates our lives these days, it doesn't have the right to own us. Let me suggest a couple of ways to get in touch with that truth.

First, look for ways to help other people and not focus on yourself.  You might be able to offer comfort or encouragement to someone behind you on the path of your climb. Or you can consider just serving in a totally unrelated way. Whatever you choose invest in someone else.  It will color your world in some new and meaningful ways.

Second, be intentionally thankful.  There is always someone hurting more than you. And there are always things we can be thankful for even in the worst of times.  Make a list now and then or pull your family together and just call out some ways you all can thank God for His blessings to you.  An "attitude of gratitude" can change us in dramatic ways.

Third, make a list of ten things you've always wanted to do.  And then pick one or two that you'll try this year. Get out of your "greenness" and put some new color, new excitement, new challenges into your life that have little to do with your mountain or struggle.  Sometimes just a chance of pace and location make huge differences in our perspective.

As Kermit the Frog used to say, "It's not easy being green."  And I would add, "It's not fun being the same color all the time."  Turn up the color in your world.

When The Weather Changes On Your Climb

Our recent Alaska trip reminded me once again that the weather can change in a heartbeat in most mountain settings. One minute the summit tops can be socked in and moments later there will be bright sunshine. Other times you'll be climbing all morning without a cloud in the sky and before long storms are rolling in and danger is ahead.

Most climbers in Colorado know that if you're wise you're on the trail well before dawn so that you get to and off the summit before noon. Afternoon thunderstorms are common there and lighting can be a climber's nightmare even the end of their life.

The same unfortunately is true when we climb life's peaks. We can feel like we're really moving forward, making great progress and finally getting somewhere on our climb only to have a "storm" come out of nowhere.  Someone lets us down, our health changes again, we lose that job offer we thought we had, we take a big financial hit, a relationship crumbles or one of a hundred other possibilities rears its head.

The important thing for any climber is to plan for those possibilities and know what to do when they happen. We have to understand that few climbs will be stress or struggle- free. Bad weather is normal.

First, don't climb alone if possible. Challenges are always better dealt with when you have someone else there with you. When adversity hits you need a friend or two.

Second, know your limits and resources. Some may be able to continue climbing because of their equipment, talents, strength and expertise but not everyone will. Even the best climbers in the world die on mountains because they went too far.  When a life storm hits evaluate before you just carry on.  You may need to slow down or turn around for now.  That's not failure, it's just being smart. As Ed Viesturs says the most important part of a climb is getting down.

Third, learn from others who have gone before you. Smart rock climbers are always learning lessons from others especially about how to handle adversity.  Life climbers must do the same. Talk to people who are climbing a similar mountain to yours. Spend time together, share stories and admit mistakes.  Those same people can help affirm that you can make it. 

We certainly can't control the weather but we can control how we'll respond to it. And we'll be healthier and safer as a result!