Living in the Death Zone

I've never climbed in the Himalayas but I've read a lot about those who do. And there is an area generally above twenty-five or twenty-six thousand feet that is poignantly known as the Death Zone. It is so named basically because at that altitude there is a variety of conditions that if not overcome will simply kill you and likely do it quickly.

Of course the most obvious one is the thin air and even with supplemental oxygen the body won't perform with its usual efficiency. And because one's faculties are typically impaired a climber is then more exposed to falling, various forms of edema and other potentially fatal results. Weather is also likely more extreme and dangerous, causing many climbers to bivouac in places where survival is unlikely at best.

A very small percentage of climbers ever experience the Death Zone of the highest mountains in the world and for good reason. It's just too dangerous.

However, in life there are some reasons to actually live in our own Death Zone of sorts. In fact, we can't avoid it. It's living knowing that at any moment our life on this earth could end. We could be gone or someone we love simply won't be around. Morbid? Creepy? A little out there perhaps? Yes, in some ways.

But I have a close relative who is most likely going to die in the next few months or so, barring a miracle that of course our entire family is praying for. However, whatever happens it has made us all think a bit more about whether we would be ready to face the same ourselves. What would we do if death were looking us in the eye all of a sudden? 

I think the answer gives us some essential things to think about doing now without living in some sort of dark, fearful place in the process.  Let me suggest a few. 

First, make the most of every moment you can. No, none of us can savor each second of every experience, but we can slow down and enjoy people and opportunities a bit more.  We can quit cramming so many things into our lives and running by people we love as though they are hardly there. We can stop and watch our kids and grandkids longer, spend a few more minutes with a spouse or friend and just enjoy little special moments of nature that occur every day all around us.

Second, take inventory. Be brutally honest about how many things you're doing that really matter for the long-term versus those that are just because everyone's doing them. Yes, there's nothing wrong with leisure, goofing off now and then and simply having fun. But are we letting the temporary push aside the eternal and the things we think we should invest in for our gain steal time from the people we want to invest in because we love them?  Have we pushed the most important things and experiences into the I'll-do-them-someday-when-I-have time category?

Third, say what you want to say now. I've often thought we should have everyone's funeral before they die if possible. That way people can say to another's face what they want to say about them and would likely say once they're gone. Well, in a sense and in the same way we would be wise to say what we want to say to people before one of us is gone. Do we need to forgive, tell them we love them or that we are proud of them, let go of some past hurts or remind them of how much they meant to us?  Do it now.

Staying Put Is Rarely A Good Option

Most climbers know what I'm talking about. You get to a point in your climb where you're so exhausted (or at least you think you are) that you can't go on or simply stuck not knowing how to go up or down. Your mind begins to race panicked about your next move or you slowly start to shut down thinking that there is little hope anymore for success.

And if we give in to either of those emotions we can become paralyzed of sorts. We simply can't move whether we still want to or have abandoned our quest. But we cannot stay put. When climbers struggle and high altitudes in the Himalaya we're told that they often want to just sit down and quit. Their fellow climbers must sometimes literally yell at them to keep going or pick them up if they can and get their feet moving downward again.

The challenges of life can be like that, too. They seem like Everest. We're exhausted from months, even years of trying, and our tendency is to just sit down and quit. To stay put.

Don't.

Paralysis almost always leads to depression. Depressed people literally think that they can no longer do anything to change an outcome or their reaction to it. Thankfully, that is rarely true. We can always do something and therefore we must always keep moving.

How?

Start by asking some other people to help you. Climbing alone is always more dangerous. Find wise, helpful, caring people to walk up your mountain with you. Put aside your pride and secure a fellow-climber or two. See a counselor or pastor but call out to someone to help you move on.

Second, take a step. Just one step. But find out something you can do next. Maybe it's calling that friend or a doctor or counselor. But maybe it is helping someone else out. Perhaps you need to start volunteering somewhere. Go for a walk, see a movie, start or continue a hobby.  But take a step.

Third, remember. Remember how far you've come. I always love looking down from various places on a hike or climb and seeing the ground we've covered up to that point. It's amazing. Amaze  yourself by thinking about the road you've travelled thus far. It can help you move on. 

Fourth, get a follower. There's someone who isn't as far as you who needs a person who has been up the road before them. Look for that person. Ask around. Become their guide even though you both have a ways to go.

Remember, staying put isn't a great option. The good news is that you don't have to. Never quit climbing.

Luck Rarely Gets You To The Summit

I was in a convenience store recently and watched the woman in front of me plunk down sixty dollars for lottery tickets. And maybe she felt that this was a particularly lucky week but I got the feeling she did this all the time. It wasn't one of the "mega" type jackpots either where people spend all sorts of money once a year hoping to win the hundreds of millions.

She, like many, was probably hoping that luck would change everything and she was willing to sacrifice some of her resources to take that risk? And could a life change by playing the lottery? I suppose so though the statistics aren't very good for people who suddenly get rich. Even so, there's only one chance in scores of millions that any one person wins anyway.

It seems to me that luck is a pretty risky way to try and climb higher in life. Luck rarely gets people through cancer to a new job after many lean years or moved on following a messy divorce. Luck has no real power to help us other than to show up now and then but we can't control it anyway.

Summiting, whether a granite mountain or a life challenge, requires some other important things be substituted for mere good fortune. Like what?

Knowledge is a good place to start. Learning what we can about our disease, our challenge or options to  is vital. And in the age of the Internet (though not everything there is true or helpful) there is no excuse for not learning more.

I remember coming down Mt. of the Holy Cross in Colorado with my son. Unfortunately we got lost on the way down in the fields of boulders. There were cairns that we saw on the way up but we unwisely didn't look for them and got off the best route back to our trail. So we bushwacked our way hustling to outrun an approaching storm so we could get down to treeline.

All of a sudden we came upon a trail thinking we would be way off course only to realize later that it was the right one. We got lucky! But we would have done better if we simply had been better prepared and learn the correct route ahead of time.

Taking some wise next steps also beats luck. Many people get paralyzed by their struggle so they spend lots of time and energy hoping that something (like the lottery) or someone will get them out of their jam. And of course other insightful people can be wonderfully helpful but sometimes we need to merely take some next steps too and go as far as we can with what we know.

If you're on a challenging mountain like Everest you'd better plan to get to base camp first before you start thinking much about camp 4. And often that success, though limited, can also give you some encouragement and momentum.

Third, persevering always beats luck. Lucky people rarely win or even finish races but those who keep going usually at least finish. That's why I call this blog and website Never Quit Climbing. Don't stop, don't get paralyzed, don't give up. In fact the best option is to make the decision to keep going before you ever start out.

Perseverance is a decision, but one you probably don't want to try to make on the spot.

But whatever you do don't count on luck. If it bails you out from time to time, OK. But remember luck is just that - the chance that something good happens when you most need it. The better way is to do what you need to do so you never need it in the first place.

Sometimes a Little Fire and Heat Are Necessary

Tomorrow my wife and I get on a plane for San Francisco. After a couple of days there we'll drive to Yosemite National Park for a week of anticipated vacation, hiking and picture-taking. The problem is there are wildfires that have currently entered the park and caused hundreds of acres of damage. And while the valley has not had any fire in it per se, there have been days when the winds have blown smoke into the valley covering the beautiful peaks and cliffs.

If that happens while we're there we're going to miss out on the gorgeous views and inspiring hiking and be hugely disappointed.

However, we have to remember something important about what is transpiring there even though the cause of the fire appears to be manmade. Sometimes fire is necessary or at least helpful in the middle of beauty because it provides a natural clearing of materials that will in the long run be harmful, not helpful. Sometimes dead brush begins to pile up on top of the lush ground and will eventually be either a deadly hazard for the next fire or keep the vegetation from growing effectively.

I've seen officials in beautfiul parks in the Midwest light controlled fires to burn away that extra, needless and harmful brush so that the living vegetation can grow as it should.  But for a while, it's not pretty. The charred remains of that brush hardly look appealing or attractive.

That can often be true during our life climbs through illnesses, family challenges and personal struggles. Often there is a fire of sorts that comes out of nowhere. It adds heat, conflict and temporary ugliness to our  lives and may have even been needlessly caused by someone who was careless.

Sometimes . . . not always . . . but yes, sometimes, those fires will be for our own good and will help burn away some of the things holding us back from growing and actually climbing higher.

For example, those fires can burn away false expectations. Sometimes we are still living in past, with an old picture that we're still demanding return when in reality in never will. The fire can help us see a newer picture again and let go of returning to day that are gone.

Fires can burn away our distractions. Often we become obsessed with getting even, getting healed, returning to the past or finding an answer to "why."  But those things are usually keeping us from focusing on the present where we need to be to continue climbing well and moving forward.

Fires can also burn away unhealthy emotions. Some of us are still living with anger, despair and panic about things that can't be changed.  When we let some of the emotions go along with the reasons for them we can start climbing more freely and minus a great deal of weight that we've been carrying around.  We can see God again in our circumstances and trust him for new expectations, a new picture and new emotions.

So, are there some fires burning in your Yosemite?  Try to put them out, perhaps, but let them do the good things they can do. It will help you to keep climbing higher and better.

Living in the One Percent

I've had the opportunity to stand on nine or ten summits over 14,000 feet in my life. I've been blessed to travel to Russia fifteen times and another trip is on the horizon. I've hiked for days near the Matterhorn, one of the most beautiful mountains in the world. I got to take a zipline from next to the Great Wall of China across a lake flying hundreds of feet in the air.

And in each of these scenarios and others like them I wondered to myself:  What percentage of people in the world have done this or been here? And of course I don't know the amount but I'm pretty sure it's quite small, less than one percent.  I remember thinking, "I am so fortunate to be here because very few have experienced this."

But I also know this . . . those moments were some of the most alive times in my life. Most of them required sacrifice, hardship, pain and/or fear but they were worth it. They were opportunities that the majority of other people either couldn't or wouldn't take advantage of because in many cases they were too busy doing what everyone else does.

Is that you  and your family too?  Just accomplishing a lot of great things but doing what most other people do every day. Are you just a clone in a busy culture but with little uniqueness of your own?

And before you think I was just off doing special adventures let me explain what led to the above activities. The mountains were largely climbed with one or more of my kids or my wife. They were special family moments we would never forget.

The trips to Russia have been to teach, help, encourage and train others in ministry, to help them more effectively share their Christian faith with their people. The Matterhorn trip was a twenty-fifth wedding anniversary trip with Jackie and the Great Wall opportunity was part of a trip to see our daughter and son-in-law serving God in China.

REMEMBER: If you want your one percent choices to be extra special do something that involves things that truly matter - ministry, family and helping others.

It is so easy to just coast through life making money, getting stuff and trying to just be happy. But living in the one percent is more about finding joy, giving things away and discovering that the things that are worth the most actually cost the least in everyday terms. You don't need dollars, pesos, rubles or Euros to buy them.  But you do have to plan them, look for them, pray about them and be intentional about living life differently from the masses.

Look for a cause, a mission, a neighbor to help. Find an adventure that your family will never forget and yet which teaches eternal truths and makes a lifelong difference in someone. And when you do you will find that your life is alive in a way you've rarely experienced before and you will never go back.

Start now.

Are You a Don't or Won't Climber

In 1996 the climbing world lost several famous, experienced climbers and others just trying to summit in a set of tragic circumstances chronicled by Jon Krakauer in his book Into Thin Air. Sadly, it was discovered later that one key principle was broken over and over by guides who simply knew better.

That principle? You must be off the summit before 2pm. No exceptions, no other options. Discussions about that guideline were held over and over and yet at least two groups ignored that rule and people died as a result.

You see, some people like Ed Viesturs look at a guideline like that as something they don't do. There isn't any decision that needs to be made in his mind. If  it's two o'clock or will be before you summit you turn around and head down. Perhaps a closer to home example of this would be for someone who has a serious food allergy such as peanuts.

People with a peanut allergy know that they can die if they eat even one small nut, so they have developed a don't mentality about peanuts. Even if the Queen of England or the President invites them to a meal and peanuts are served, they don't eat them - period.

On the other hand if you just think that you usually won't do something you have a harder time deciding.  You base your decisions on the circumstances, what others think and how they might react. So sometimes you give in just to please people or avoid extra drama. With some things that may not be a big deal but with other decisions a wrong or hasty choice can be destructive and dangerous.

So just like on Everest there are probably some things we need to turn into Don't choices that can keep us safe, healthy and growing.  Ask yourself, How should I fill in this blank:  I don't ____________________  any more?  Maybe it's that you don't argue with people about things that don't matter, you don't give in to everyone else's demands or you don't take unhealty and ptentially dangerous risks that you used to take.

You figure out what's best and stick to it.  But let me warn you that sometimes your friends will disagree or think you're too legalistic or rigid.  Keep your commitments anyway.  It's your life and sometimes our choices can really mess up a good thing.

And once you come up with your Don't list start living with it.  Make decisions with your don't list in mind. Compliment yourself or enjoy the compliments of others when they see you stand strong.  If you're going to continue climbing, you have to know what you will and not do.  And it's pretty important that you decide before you get some place where it's especially hard to make the right decision.

Never quit climbing.

Updating Your Attitude App

If you own a smartphone with applications on it you know that quite often a message comes telling you the app needs an update. Sometimes it's just a small thing, other times it involves a pretty significant change.  Nonetheless, if those apps never get tweaked they will become old, outdated and ineffective.

In the same way, we climbers will need our attitudes updated from time to time if we're going to continue overcoming and making it up our personal mountain. Why?  Because life, hard climbing,  and challenges take their toll on our attitudes. They can slowly cause our inner person to deteriorate without us even noticing.

For example, we can become complacent and just not want to try as hard. Or we get discouraged and simply want to quit. Or we're thinking so far ahead about all we may face that we have little energy left to deal with what we are facing right now.  We can forget to be thankful because we're overwhelmed by the hardships we encounter every day and substitute anger or bitterness instead.

We can become bitter because the climb seems to never end.

So how do we update our apps . . . I mean attitudes?  First, we need to get around more positive people.  No, not mere blue sky painters but people who will help us regain our perspective and see our blind spots.

Second, we need to regularly take inventory of how we are blessed. Start thanking God for everyday things that you still have even though you're facing a major challenge right now.

Third, go serve someone else. If you're a cancer patient go sit or ride with someone else going through cancer treatments too. Get you eyes off of you and onto them for awhile.

Or, talk to someone about it, a counselor, pastor, friend or mentor. Let them shed some light on where you are and how you might change your thinking in other ways.

I don't know about you, but the apps on my phone are changing all the time. It's normal and OK. So don't be afraid to do regular updates on your attitudes. They usually affect everything.

Hurting People Often Just Need a Friend

This last week my wife and I were at our daughter's home helping watch her kids while she and her husband oversaw their move to a new house. Sometime during the weekend I was sitting by myself when my three and a half year old grandson, Liam, came up to me and said, "Do you need a friend to play with?"

I wonder how many hurting people all around us just need a friend to play with, someone to listen, to just be there, pray with them or share their hurt for a while.

My hunch is that those people are everywhere . . . in the coffee shop, at work, school, in the seat nearby us at church and in our neighborhood. Of course, we can't be there for all of them but maybe we can hone in or be available for just one. And maybe we don't even become their friend but just act like one for a short time.

In an ideal world, that person would be someone whose journey is similar to one you've made. You've had the cancer, the divorce, the struggling child or the three kids under three. You can't solve their problem or make it go away but you can tell them that there is hope up the trail because you've been there. You can be proof positive that someone can actually make it down the difficult road they are walking.

But we can also help and come alongside someone without having travelled their road. Sometimes we start the process best by just listening, engaging for a moment before rushing away to our next responsibility. Other times God might prompt you to think about someone you've not even thought about for some time. You'll need some margin in your life.

It really doesn't matter how you enter in to being the friend of a hurting person. The point is that you just do it. But you'll have to slow down some and be more aware. You will have to put yourself in places where that kind of connection can actually take place. You will have to change your thinking some about what things are most important in life.

But my sense is that once you do it a few times, you'll wonder why you've waited so long. In fact, you might just discover that those interludes are the kinds of moments you've been waiting for and that you've never felt more alive.

Please Climb Responsibly . . . Uh, Yeah?

Have you seen that little phrase on certain food packaging now that says Please eat responsibly.  I'm picturing the people who don't eat responsibly . . . are they eating pieces of lead or grass from the lawn or what?  Do they chow down every day on paper, school glue and mouthwash right out of the bottle?  I doubt it.

Sure, we might not eat as wisely as we should but irresponsible eating seems a bit over the top.

It seems obvious what responsible eating is.  It should just come naturally. Even my one-year-old grandson, while he could pick up something he shouldn't have and swallow it, knows how to eat a lot of right things on his own.

However, in life we can eat irresponsibly in one sense.  It's when we ingest certain things that aren't healthy and won't help us heal, grow or reach our personal summit. Let me warn you about a few.

Don't digest the unhelpful advice of others.  Too many people want to tell you that their way is the only way. They have been in your shoes, had your illness or whatever and want to get you to follow their exact steps in overcoming. Of course, pull out anything that might be helpful but don't feel like you need to have the whole meal deal from them. It probably won't work the same way for you.

Second, don't eat the it's not really that bad syndrome.  We all like to think that it's other people who have the problems or that our symptoms are merely the result of some small little thing that can be easily remedied or that we've already dealt with. Remember that true health comes not from getting rid of symptoms but by healing the tumor or condition within that needs attention.  There is no shame in facing our own weaknesses.  That's usually the only way of restoring relationships and becoming truly healthy.

Third, don't feast on pity, regret and the rest of the past. We can learn from the past and should but we can't change it. Today is what it is - period. We can spend a lot of energy wishing for things to be different when we could use that energy to make things in the future different!  That's why we need to keep climbing, to not give up and to take ownership for our part of the situation and change it.

So yes, like the commercial says, when it comes to your personal life please eat responsibly even if it includes a little dessert.

Whose Name Is Most Important?

On a recent day off my wife and I were walking around two large outlet malls near Austin. And while I'm sure I've seen them before, I couldn't help but notice this time how many stores and their products focused on one name: Guess, Prada, Gucci, Coach, Liz Claborne, Polo . . . the list is long.

And of course there is nothing wrong with wanting quality and nice things but I saw scores of people go into each store willing to pay hundreds or even thousands of dollars for items that they could have bought comparable ones for somewhere else for far less money.

It was pretty evident that they were willing to spend their hard earned resources largely because of the name.

Let's face it, a name matters. There's something powerful and fulfilling about having a name that people respect, value and honor when they hear it. It certainly helps when you're trying to sell something. But far more important is that we live our lives in a way that our name elicits the same kind of positive response.

How does that happen? Well first, we do our best to be people of integrity. We don't cut corners, we have each other's backs, we don't live our lives merely for our own personal gain. We do what is right in the little things and when no one else is looking.

Second, we add value to the lives of others. We try to make them look good, we do what we can to help them be successful and we let others brag on us, not ourselves. We look for opportunity to serve others and give them credit for doing well.

Third, we do what we do with excellence. If we sell a product, write a blog or provide a service people must know that we do it all well. We send the message that we want them to return again because what we gave them was something they desire more of in the future.

Remember, it takes a long time to build up a name, develop a reputation. But as we see almost weekly in the news, it only takes a moment to ruin one. Be sure you're concentrating on celebrating the right name. And then make it one that people will remember, respect and revisit.

Sometimes Climbing Through Life Can Get Lonely

Lots of people suffer through tragedy. Most of us probably have. Thankfully in most cases friends and family run to our side to help, to listen, to encourage and help us walk through the early days of our pain. They help us prepare for the funeral, the job change, the move or some other new circumstances.

However, before too long those people are gone or least far less present. They must return to their world, their job, their life. But our hurt continues, our new world will possibly be with us for the rest of our lives. At times it even makes us mad that the people around us just carry on with life as though nothing happened.

It's during these times that we must make a commitment to stay healthy, to keep moving and to heal especially when a lot of our support system is gone.

Let me suggest a couple of important steps we must take. Get counseling. Find someone you trust, a therapist, pastor, counselor or whoever who you will continue to talk to openly about your struggle. They know how to listen, advise, encourage and care. And they will make time for it. We can't expect others to drop everything and continue to stay as close to us as they were during the early days of our struggle.

Second, keep some sort of other relationships going in your life. No, you probably won't be able to do everything and in fact you probably should not. However, don't become a loner. Have some people over or accept and invitation or two. Know your limits and be OK with them but find time to be with people. Keep a friend or two close.

Third, think about a way to serve someone else. Again, big, new projects are not probably wise at this point. But you can do something small, something simple to help someone else. Your church or community organization probably has a place you can volunteer or there may be a neighbor or friend who needs you to do something simple for them right now.

Accept the fact that people are going to desert you at some point, not to be mean or unkind but rather because life must go on for them. But life must continue for you, too, even if it is at a slower pace for awhile. Keep moving, never quit climbing.  There is still more for you to see and do higher up the mountain.

Who Do You Have Around You During Your Challenges?

If you use the computer at all you have received a warning at some point that sounds a little like this: Make sure that all attachments you open are from a worthy or reliable source.  And there's good advice there because attachments in the cyberspace world can cause lots of damage to an otherwise fine computer, right?

Well, the same is true when it comes to relationships, especially during our times of struggle, when we're climbing through life on a very steep path. We need to be careful about those we attach ourselves to or we'll find that they take more from us than they give.

Who are those potentially dangerous, life-draining people?

The first may be a close relative. Now of course, we need family and great family members can be a wonderful encouragement and practical help through our illness, grieving or other life struggle. But often those closest to us can also be more of a burden than a help. The one who constantly wants to fix us or take care of us inappropriately or tell us what to do all the time. You must be willing to ask them to back off and see that they take up less and less of your time and thinking.

Another may be a fellow climber. The person who has been where you've been can be a tremendous help because they often understand what you've been through. However, sometimes they too think they are now an "expert" on your issues and they think they should become your mentor, colleague and confidante about all things related to your climb.

A third may be a so-called expert. Your doctor, pastor, priest, psychologist and the like all have the potential to offer significant expertise and care but they too can become your "god," the one you worship and follow no matter what they say.

You get the idea. Yes, we must glean as much as we can from people who can bring wisdom, insight and passion to us when we need it most. But we must also be careful to not let these and others end up causing more angst and stealing more energy from us through their inappropriate and unwise counsel and demands.  When it's all said and done, your best decisions will come from those you make with the counsel of God.

Remember, only reliable attachments should be opened!

Living in Fantasyland Won't Get You Over The Mountain

Did you hear about the high school girl who went to prom with Tim Tebow?  Well, actually she went with a life-size cardboard cutout of him. Yes, that's right. Her dream, like so many girls, was that he would actually go to the dance with her but of course she never heard back from her letter of invitation.

So she finally decided she would go with him anyway - sort of.

And while you have to admire her determination and willingness to look a bit weird, she never really went with Mr. Tebow. It was still only a dream.

Often when people are facing challenges or dreams that don't work out they spend a lot of time dulling their pain living in a fantasy world. Some of those fantasies aren't that big of a deal, but many are at best unwise and some are at worst destructive.

The obvious painkillers are drugs, alcohol, and illicit sex, but there are many less socially unacceptable ones - work harder, control more, make more money, and the like. The additional problem is that when people take the route of just dulling their pain they become cardboard cutouts themselves and miss the blessings that will come when they live life again as real people.

Yes, sometimes taking hard steps is challenging but it's worth it. It may take time and your time to heal and move on can be different from other people's process. That's OK and normal.

Are you dulling your pain and living a cardboard, fantasy-filled life?  What are you missing out on?  And who is missing out on you? Chances are your family members are longing to have the real you back. So why not start today and come back as the authentic person you know you can be. Pain isn't always easy to face but it's a daily reminder that you're still alive!

On Your Life Journey Lock Your Doors!

A recent news story showed how many people at shopping malls leave their car doors unlocked while they shop. In addition, many of them have valuables, previous purchases and other expensive electronics clearly visible to anyone passing by.

Obviously many individuals and families get needlessly robbed of things that are important and in some cases difficult or at least expensive to replace.  IF they were only a little more careful they would rarely get taken advantage of.

Sometimes in life, we too can leave our emotional and personal doors unlocked only to have necessary energy, strength and other resources taken from us.

One way we are vulnerable is when we don't set appropriate boundaries. Boundaries are safeguards we set up with others that we control to keep them out of our world at unnecessary or inappropriate times. For example, a person is grieving the loss of a loved one and yet they let all their friends tell them how to handle their grief or where they should emotionally be at some point.

Or someone with cancer struggling with not having their usual energy still gives in to a friend or relative's demands that they meet their needs or acclimate to their schedule in some way. As a result our ability to function well is stolen from us because we've left ourselves open to others entering our car when we should have locked it.

Another way we let people rob us is when we offer them our personhood and let what they say, do or not do make us feel less valued. We allow them to take away from our value, our being made in God's image, through their comments about what we're doing or not doing right. We succumb to their negative evaluation by believing that what they say really determines who we are and it does not.

There are five things that are always true of us in God's eyes that are worth repeating: We are loved, we are forgiven, we matter, we have purpose and we are children of God.  Any person who has chosen to join God's family can count on those no matter what anyone else says.

So, are you during your personal journey leaving yourself open to emotional robberies by others?  If so, set some boundaries and remember who you really are in God's eyes. It will change how you climb and in general how you live.  And that's worth a lot.

Keep Your Current Challenge In Perspective - There's More!

It was five o'clock in the afternoon where I lived. I was wide awake. However, I was in Moscow so that meant the time during my sleeplessness was two in the morning. I was with a team from the States helping with a worship conference.  We'd all been busy, had lots to do and needed our sleep.

Unfortunately, after a couple of good night's sleep, the jetlag was playing games with me. Even an extra portion of my usual sleeping medications didn't help.

Jetlag has a way of showing up when you least expect it.

I also knew that the conference was actually starting the next night and I had a day of writing and other preparations ahead of me. I tossed and turned, got up several times, read for awhile as my wife slept nearby. It was tempting to get mad and worry that I wouldn't have the stamina to handle the next several busy days well.

Our other life struggles can be like that, can't they? We're doing well on our climb and we've overcome some pretty big challenges. But the current setback, obstacle, or surprise that overwhelms us seems to be taking us over for a time. "Why now?" we ask. And usually there's no good answer to that question. It just happens. We can't change it.

I don't know what sleepless night or unexpected boulder you're facing on your climb right now. But if it feels like it has the potential to overwhelm you let me offer a couple of suggestions affirmed during my night in Moscow.

First, remember this is only one night in your life. This moment is one small part of the big picture. It shouldn't and can't define you. You've had other great opportunities, other victories, and you'll have more. But this moment is what it is. Live with it. Endure it. Make the most of it.

Second, don't forget you've been through tough things before. Before my son Tim and I climbed our first 14,000 foot mountain, Long's Peak, I also had a terrible time sleeping. I was anxious about the unknowns of the mountain even though I'd read many articles about it and felt as prepared as possible. Nonetheless, I think I only slept 2-3 hours that night.

Nonetheless, the next day we rookies climbed Long's with all its challenges. Some 12 hours later we had summitted and made it back to the trailhead. I often think back to that day during hard times and remember that I did something big on very little sleep. I say to myself, "Look, you climbed Long's on very little rest so you can get through this too."

We need some watershed moments to look back to that will help us through the hard nights.

Third, use the time for something good. When you're up in the middle of the night you might as well get up and read rather than get mad because you're having a rough time. The same is true when life gives you a restless time or a mountain to climb that you didn't plan on. Remember that challenges can teach us something. Use this time for good, make something out of the bad day. Go serve someone, develop a new idea, take a step you've never taken before even while you're facing a hardship.

So if you are experiencing a challenging time right now, open your eyes to bigger things, something that perhaps God wants to teach you or a lesson you can learn that you might have missed otherwise. The dark night need not overwhelm you.  The light will come soon. But never quit climbing.

The Climber's Top Ten Thanksgiving List

I'm thankful:

1. For the pain and hard breathing that remind me I'm still alive.
2. For how far I've come.
3. For the glimpses of the summit I periodically get.
4. For my fellow climbers who urge me onward.
5. For beautiful views I enjoy along the way.
6. For supernatural help I sense especially during the hard times.
7. I haven't quit yet.
  8. That my journey has taken me to heights I could have missed.
  9. For each new success I embrace as I head for the top.
10. For the hope that swells within me that I will overcome this.

You Can Risk Without Climbing, But Can't Climb Without Risk

I remember my first 14er climbing up the Keyhole Route on Long's Peak. To really serious climbers this route is no big deal but it was for my 13 year old son and me. And I clearly remember meeting four men coming down as we neared what is called the "Ledges" section of the climb. I'd read about that dicey portion of the route and expected them to be a challenge but I didn't anticipate what I heard from these descending climbers.

I asked them if they'd made it to the summit. And one of the guys responded, "No way. I took a look at those ledges and decided that I have a family at home. It's too dangerous to go on."

All of a sudden I got this lump in my throat as I began to think about whether the risk for us was going to be worth it. As it turned out we went on, felt cautious, yet comfortable navigating the ledges and the Home Stretch and went on to the top.  However, there was a risk every step of the way. There always is.  The question is how much risk will we take on and how much risk will we allow to keep us from going forward.

Of course there's no easy answer. Being foolhardy can often end in death whether on a mountain or driving our car. There's something to be said about being shrewd and wise. But we will rarely go forward on our climbs if we're unwilling to accept some significant risk.

How do we determine what is too much and make a wise decision?  First of all, we must prepare as well as we can. Whether we're on a rock wall or stuck facing a personal mountain, preparing well, learning all we can and scouting out the route before us are vital to handling risky situations. The better we prepare the more risk we can likely endure.

Second, know your abilities and limitations. Some climbers are far more qualified to tackle routes that we cannot. That's ok. But our somehow believing we can do them may put us into risky places we shouldn't be. As Tim and I continued on the climb up Long's I knew that we had been in situations like that before and could handle it. If all of a sudden we had run into technical climbing beyond the class 3 we were facing, it would have been time to turn around.

Third, deal honestly with the personal issues that may push you to do more dangerous things than you can handle.  For some risk becomes an unhealthy and dangerous adrenaline rush that only dulls a lot of our pain but could eventually kill us. Some are still fighting off the demands of past hurts, disappointments or abuses and so we spend much of our lives trying to please others.

As a result we do things foolishly and push ourselves beyond healthy limits. We think we must live up to everyone else's expectations of us. That can be deadly or at least destructive.

So instead of using risk to fill a hole or need in us, remember that it can be a normal and healthy part of any climb. But do what you can to control how much you face and how you deal with it. It can be friend or foe.

It's Tougher Near the Summit

Ask any climber in the Himalayas and they'll tell you that one of the biggest challenges and obstacles in those mountains is the altitude. In fact the last few thousand feet is known as the "Death Zone." Inviting, isn't it?

Of course, the rest of us mere mortals also know that just getting above treeline adds difficulty to hiking, bouldering or tackling a wall. The oxygen levels have gone down so we labor even more.

It's always fun to watch the people at high altitude tourist areas who just got out of their car or the tram such as on Pike's Peak or in the Alps. You see them begin to struggle almost immediately with the change in atmosphere.  If they're not careful they can actually pass out.

A similar discomfort can meet us as we climb a life mountain. We've worked hard to climb day after day, week after week and we can sense that we're getting close to an important summit.  But altitude can become a sudden obstacle if we're not ready for it.

Sometimes we thought we were doing well emotionally, and then our grief bubbles over, our anger flares or our sadness becomes overwhelming. We wrestle again with our new normal or get depressed again because we face once more that something we lost will never come back.

But never quit climbing.  Anticipate now that your emotional oxygen may be thin even as you're sensing the summit is near. You're normal when you hit that new wall and find it hard to breathe. It's OK. Just don't quit. Stay close to the people who've been roped together with you this far on the journey.

Keep taking one step at a time. Get through one more day. Do something else for someone along the way. Take the focus off your pain for a little while.

I remember watching those dramatic scenes in the IMAX Everest movie where Ed Viesturs is slogging slowly but deliberately through the thigh-high snow. He's almost there but the challenge is increasing not slowing up.  It would have been easy to turn around because it was so hard. But he kept on.

You do the same. It's hard but the results will come. Remember, the view from the top is worth it!