Staying Put Is Rarely A Good Option

Most climbers know what I'm talking about. You get to a point in your climb where you're so exhausted (or at least you think you are) that you can't go on or simply stuck not knowing how to go up or down. Your mind begins to race panicked about your next move or you slowly start to shut down thinking that there is little hope anymore for success.

And if we give in to either of those emotions we can become paralyzed of sorts. We simply can't move whether we still want to or have abandoned our quest. But we cannot stay put. When climbers struggle and high altitudes in the Himalaya we're told that they often want to just sit down and quit. Their fellow climbers must sometimes literally yell at them to keep going or pick them up if they can and get their feet moving downward again.

The challenges of life can be like that, too. They seem like Everest. We're exhausted from months, even years of trying, and our tendency is to just sit down and quit. To stay put.

Don't.

Paralysis almost always leads to depression. Depressed people literally think that they can no longer do anything to change an outcome or their reaction to it. Thankfully, that is rarely true. We can always do something and therefore we must always keep moving.

How?

Start by asking some other people to help you. Climbing alone is always more dangerous. Find wise, helpful, caring people to walk up your mountain with you. Put aside your pride and secure a fellow-climber or two. See a counselor or pastor but call out to someone to help you move on.

Second, take a step. Just one step. But find out something you can do next. Maybe it's calling that friend or a doctor or counselor. But maybe it is helping someone else out. Perhaps you need to start volunteering somewhere. Go for a walk, see a movie, start or continue a hobby.  But take a step.

Third, remember. Remember how far you've come. I always love looking down from various places on a hike or climb and seeing the ground we've covered up to that point. It's amazing. Amaze  yourself by thinking about the road you've travelled thus far. It can help you move on. 

Fourth, get a follower. There's someone who isn't as far as you who needs a person who has been up the road before them. Look for that person. Ask around. Become their guide even though you both have a ways to go.

Remember, staying put isn't a great option. The good news is that you don't have to. Never quit climbing.

Winning Isn't Always The Answer to Success

A few months ago I heard Tiger Woods say this during his recent personal and professional struggles, "Winning takes care of everything."  Oh, if that were only true. Unfortunately for him and many others that's not the case. Winning some golf tournaments, climbing competitions or even a few more arguements doesn't fix the past.

In this context winning is just another drug, a second shot of novocaine to dull the pain of what's happened in our lives. If we truly want to win, even during challenging times, we'll consider a few other healthier or more productive actions.

We'll ask forgiveness if we need to. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to be honest and simply tell those we've hurt that we're sorry for the hurt we caused them. We ask them to forgive us though they may never forget what we did. They don't have to forget.

We'll make necessary changes. Come hell or high water we will NOT stay the same. We will bring people into our lives who will hold us accountable, remove actions and temptations that plague us every day and substitute new behaviors and thinking for the old. When we own our mistakes and actions everything does being to change.

We'll look deeply at what got us or our relationships into trouble in the first place. It's not easy to look deep inside and see things that are out of line, thinking that is skewed or attitudes that need adjustments.  But that's the place we must go if we are to find any tumors that have caused us to be where we are.

We'll apply our faith to it all. God is all about second and third and fourth chances. And while there may always be consequences we will have to live with, God wants to forgive us and offer us a new start. That's where our faith really gets tested and grows.  Sometimes I think God allows us to go through challenges and face mountains just so we will grow in ways we would not otherwise.

No, winning doesn't change everything. It's our hard work and desire to grow from the past that does.  Start now.

Don't Miss Imporant Lessons in a Tragedy

We all will face some sort of devastating experience, illness, or loss in our lifetime. Some of us have even faced what may seem horribly unfair especially when compared to others. And while we should never minimize our struggle or those of others there are important things we can and must take away from and yes through even the worst of times.

Let me suggest a few.

First, we can learn more about what really matters. Many people in Austin, Texas where I currently live lost their homes to wild fires this past week. When it comes to possessions most of them have nothing or very little. But I've already heard story after story of individuals and families who still feel blessed to be alive, to hug their spouse and children and to know they can at least start over. They've realized that their stuff was just stuff.

Second, we can be reminded of what other people will do for us when we're down. Sure there are people who will always be selfish jerks. But there are many more who come alongside us when we're hurting and ask nothing in return. Churches share Christ's love in tangible ways, neighbors give of what they have even when it's not very much and people go across the city or state just to help.

Third, we will see things done for us that we will do for others later.  Often the person who cares for others most is the one who was helped the most. A woman came to our church the other day to help those impacted by the fires. Who was she? The wife of a man recently killed in a tragic accident! She knows how much even the smallest actions matter to people who are hurting. And she was reminded that her life in spite of her tragic circumstances still matters.

Yes, we must be free to hurt, grieve, rest and heal. And our journey is our journey and need not be similar to that of anyone else. We will need time and we will never totally forget the impact of our tragedy. But be sure to take the time to embrace the life lessons that can still enrich, bless and encourage you and  your family both now and for years to come, even in the worst of times.