Watch Out For The Hidden Fees in Life

We were recently booking airfares with a discount airline that will remain nameless. However, while their fares looked extremely reasonable, significantly better than the others we were considering, we discovered that there was an extra fee for most everything.

You paid extra for a carry-on or if you didn't check that carry-on in online before the flight. You paid extra if you wanted to book a seat ahead of time and even more if you wanted a special seat of any kind. There was a whole page of extra fees listed on their website.  When it was all said and done their prices weren't that much less at all.

The same can be true in life and especially as we climb our personal mountains or face challenges. Certain people and experiences come with extra fees that can take their toll and cost us even more than we planned on.

For example, some people who appear to want to be helpful to us are not. They call us too much, they want to tell us how to fix our problems and in reality they want to help us more for their benefit than ours. Their helping us becomes more of a burden than a joy. They come with hidden fees.

Or, making big decisions at the wrong time can be costly. We sometimes make large purchases, switch jobs or move somewhere else while we're hurting badly.  It feels good at the time and perhaps dulls the pain for a while, but most experts say that we should save those big events for at least a year or two after a major loss or challenge. They too will likely have extra costs, often emotional ones, that we didn't anticipate.

We also likely pay a price when we isolate ourselves too much. We think that no one wants to be around us or that we don't have anything to offer others because of what we've been through. Actually the opposite is true. We often have much to give simply because we have been down a road that others have not. We may be able to provide them with counsel and encouragement that they need for their journey. Other people (except for the kind mentioned above) can remind us that life does go on and that we do still have a place.

Living life alone usually brings more hardship and challenge not less.

So, like a lot of purchases we might make, watch out for the hidden fees in everyday living. Make sure you've counted the cost as the Bible suggests and looked into the implications of your decisions or relationships before you get in too deep. Save your precious emotional resources for a better day.

Just Because You're Right Doesn't Trump Stupid

I was driving to work the other day in my hometown of Austin, Texas. And as I headed down a very busy four-lane road that has no shoulder I encountered two avid riders taking up the entire right lane. They were also approaching a curve meaning that it was possible that some drivers at that point would come upon them going 50 miles and hour or more.

As you may know Austin is one of the homes of Lance Armstrong. As a result and also because this city is very health conscious, there are thousands who ride bikes around town every day. And our lawmakers have made rules about cars and riders that are very favorable to the rider.

Of course the safety of a rider against a several thousand pound car is of utmost importance though some would argue the rules are unreasonable for drivers. That's a discussion for another time. I've ridden thousands of miles myself in my lifetime. I love the fact that riding is so popular.

But back to the current topic. At present cars are supposed to stay at least three feet away from bike riders and technically they have a right, at least in Austin, to be riding together, side by side, and taking up a whole lane. But being right doesn't mean people should be stupid. These guys in my opinion were at best foolish. Those two or others like them may be dead before too long. Is that worth winning the argument?

In a similar way I'm concerned that those of us who climb mountains or face life challenges can sometimes lose perspective and do something we would argue is right but it may not be wise. Perhaps we're grieving and just lost someone we love. We may argue that we have the right to move, but it may not be smart until we've had more time to heal.

During our cancer we may boast that we have the strength to take a big trip and it's our prerogative but it may not be a good idea.

So how do you decide the difference between right and stupid?  

First, ask other wise people. If you're hearing the same thing from multiple friends and family consider the fact that they may see things you don't.  If it's a medical decision ask your doctor, an emotional one as a therapist or pastor.

Second, be honest. You know yourself, your history and how you have reacted to stress in the past. Use that knowledge and be honest. Face the fact that you have limitations or won't be able to do what someone else has done. It's OK.

Third, weigh the impact of the worst happening. If you try that climb, if you take that trip, if you buy that house and the practical worst  happens what would that mean?  Like those riders I saw in traffic - is it worth the likely possibility of them being badly hurt or killed?

Remember there are worst things than giving in or not winning an argument.  And one of them might be that you'll never have another argument to win ever again.

The Small Things Can Make All The Difference on a Climb

When I first changed the name of our site and blog to Never Quit Climbing, I would periodically type it wrong and it came out Never Quite Climbing. Thankfully I saw my error each time before I published something embarrassing.

However, that would have been an unfortunate result had I missed my mistake, right? One little added letter would have totally altered the intent from a very strong and motivating challenge to a pretty lame motto.

Unfortunately, it's often those little things that we add to or omit from our life climbs that can also change everything.

For example, adding a great attitude is huge. Being positive, staying thankful and encouraging others along the way keep us from getting paralyzed and defeating by the size of our task. For one thing people with great attitudes find a lot more people who want to travel the journey with them. Bad attitudes generally send good people away.

Second, add some humor to your journey. Sure, being funny all the time can be a form of denial but some laughs now and then can help. Watch some fun stuff online, go to a comedy club or just laugh with friends. Even make a little fun of yourself and how you react at times.

Third, omit big decisions. When you're exhausted and overwhelmed emotionally is not a good time to decide on something significant like moving, marrying or changing jobs unless circumstances like an employment issue dictate it.  Let others help you think those kinds of options through before you even move forward a little bit.  They can usually see things you do not.  Big choices can sometimes be a form of painkilling that can have more harmful effects than helpful ones.

Fourth, think about adding some prayer and other spiritual input into your life. Maybe you've not been much of a religious person up until now. Think about starting, getting a taste of what it means to connect with God who loves and understands you. If your former experiences weren't good try something new and different. There are lots of churches out there that are very different from what you grew up with.

You see, sometimes the smallest little actions or decisions can make a big difference down the road. Think about what that could look like for you this week.