Slow Down - You Will Climb Higher and Better

I've watched my share of great climbers (I'm not one of them). And I'm always amazed by their patience, deliberation and pauses to ponder their next move. Unless they are in a competition for time, they rarely rush. They know that great climbing is not a race, it's a journey. It's not a competition but a conquering. Getting to the summit must not be hurried.

And yet so much of our culture models and requires hurry. I was driving home from lunch with my wife today and behind me a woman in her SUV was clearly frustrated and appeared angry that she could not make me go faster. I couldn't have if I wanted to but that didn't matter to her.

I then needed to change lanes and watched her place her bumper inches behind the next car. She would jerk forward hoping to go on and then slam on her brakes when the car in front of her had to stop again. She was a mess . . . and in a hurry. I don't think she was having fun.

Yes, there are times to hurry - to the hospital, when late for work or to help a friend in need perhaps. But most of the time hurry can be at worst disastrous and at best distracting. Disastrous when we make a horrible mistake and the result is unnecessary catastrophy. Distracting when our constant harried pace through life or a climb causes us to miss some of the views, the moments, the experiences that are what life is really about.

We can hurry through the early days of marriage, the young or even teen years of our kids. We can hurry through each day and miss special moments hearing the stories of people all around us or seeing special moments of life. We can hurry through our job and not enjoy the simple accomplishment of success or a project well done.

Who of us hasn't said I wish I would have ____________ when I was ___________?   I wonder if we would have less of those wishes if we'd only hurried less.

Some suggestions?  Do some intentional slowing down. Drive slower, eat slower, talk less, remove a few unnecessary things from your schedule. Get rid of the thinking that you're have to live up to some sort of potential.  Guess what?  You never will so stop trying.

Drop your entitlement thinking.  We all believe that we're entitled to that place on the road, that next step up the corporate ladder, that activity or school for our kids.  It's alright to do your best to get for you or your family a certain benefit but when we starting demanding those benefits we start hurrying more and often there is a price to pay.

Give yourself more time.  Whether it's a real mountain or a life mountain or just a daily acitivity purposely plan more hours or minutes to do it, not less. As one writer calls it add margin to your life.  Even God took time to rest, to slow down.  If He can, we can too.

Very few great things are easy or quick. Spend your time this week, this month, this year doing more great things with your life . . . but you will have to slow down.

Watch Out For The Hidden Fees in Life

We were recently booking airfares with a discount airline that will remain nameless. However, while their fares looked extremely reasonable, significantly better than the others we were considering, we discovered that there was an extra fee for most everything.

You paid extra for a carry-on or if you didn't check that carry-on in online before the flight. You paid extra if you wanted to book a seat ahead of time and even more if you wanted a special seat of any kind. There was a whole page of extra fees listed on their website.  When it was all said and done their prices weren't that much less at all.

The same can be true in life and especially as we climb our personal mountains or face challenges. Certain people and experiences come with extra fees that can take their toll and cost us even more than we planned on.

For example, some people who appear to want to be helpful to us are not. They call us too much, they want to tell us how to fix our problems and in reality they want to help us more for their benefit than ours. Their helping us becomes more of a burden than a joy. They come with hidden fees.

Or, making big decisions at the wrong time can be costly. We sometimes make large purchases, switch jobs or move somewhere else while we're hurting badly.  It feels good at the time and perhaps dulls the pain for a while, but most experts say that we should save those big events for at least a year or two after a major loss or challenge. They too will likely have extra costs, often emotional ones, that we didn't anticipate.

We also likely pay a price when we isolate ourselves too much. We think that no one wants to be around us or that we don't have anything to offer others because of what we've been through. Actually the opposite is true. We often have much to give simply because we have been down a road that others have not. We may be able to provide them with counsel and encouragement that they need for their journey. Other people (except for the kind mentioned above) can remind us that life does go on and that we do still have a place.

Living life alone usually brings more hardship and challenge not less.

So, like a lot of purchases we might make, watch out for the hidden fees in everyday living. Make sure you've counted the cost as the Bible suggests and looked into the implications of your decisions or relationships before you get in too deep. Save your precious emotional resources for a better day.

Improving Your "Serve" When You're Hurting Will Serve You Well.

Do you know anybody who seems paralyzed by their circumstances?  No, they're usually not really paralyzed but they live that way. They are so overwhelmed and burdened by what has happened to them that they become mired in the quick sand of the events that seemingly changed their lives. They have lost their motivation to do much of anything much less do something for someone else.

It is though they took their worth and purpose, placed it on a silver platter and handed it to someone else to care for.  Maybe you're someone like this.

If so, there is hope for you. But you'll have to look beyond the comfort of your home and the safety of sitting around doing nothing.

The hope will come from a place you might least expect it: serving someone else. 

When we decide to serve others several good things happen. First of all, we begin to realize that we aren't the only person around hurting or struggling. We see that we're not alone and we often find someone who can speak into us as well and provide encouragement and strength.

Second, we see clearly that we do have something to offer others. Our experiences can often be the journey up the trail that someone else needs to help them make it. The fact that we have been there can encourage another person and convince them that yes they too can make it.

Third, we get our eyes off our personal issues. Sure the struggle will still be there but it doesn't own most of our time, thinking, and activities. We control our problems better when we enter into those of others.

So, do you want to get better? Think about improving your serve. Start now. Start today. And don't quit.

Being There When A Fellow Struggler Needs You

I don't know if you're a Bible reader or not but there's a helpful and interesting picture in the New Testament. Jesus is nearing the time when he is to be crucified so he and three of his disciples head off to what's known as the Garden of Gethsemane to pray.

However, it's interesting to note that gardens were not commonplace in a city like Jerusalem where space was no doubt at a premium. This garden was not a Central Park, but was more likely someone's private olive garden that they had made accessible to Jesus.

There was also someone who gave him a donkey to ride into the city on a week before and someone else who offered him the upper room where the disciples met for the famous Last Supper.  I'm sure Jesus was immensely thankful and appreciative for nameless friends who came alongside him during the time of his greatest need.

There are people in crisis, climbing steep mountains, all around us who need nameless friends who will come alongside them as well.  We may be a listener, drive the car, bring food, make a phone call now and then or literally walk with them through part of their journey.

Whatever the scenario they need us. They may not think they do but they do.  If there's anyone who really didn't "need" others in the big picture sense it was Jesus.  However, the human part of him was like the human part of us - he valued and even longed for the care of others.

We of course can't push or pressure or cajole others into taking our help but we can offer it. We can look for ways to simply be there, to provide something at just the right time or give some of our resources as needed. If we've been through their journey or a similar one we'll know even better what they need.

Whatever the case, look for someone today, this week, this month who you might come next to to love, encourage and listen to as they climb their personal mountain. I'm confident that they will walk a bit taller and stronger and you will somehow be better too.