What Would It Take To Keep Your Resolutions This Year?

Of course this is the time of year when many people start wondering about their resolutions, turning over of new leaves and hopes to finally win the battle to lose some pounds, start exercising, quit smoking, begin school or conquer their latest mountain.

And my hunch is that most of those people are pretty serious and sincere in January.

Sadly, so many of those hopes, dreams and goals simply never happen. Why? And what WILL it take for us to finally look back and realize we actually did accomplish something in the new year?

I think there are a couple of key ingredients for success. First, we need a crisis mentality. A good friend of mine just discovered that some cancer he had had removed has returned other places. While it was serious before it's a potential personal crisis now.

I know this. He doesn't need anyone's motivation, list of resolutions or accountability partner to fight this now with all of his being. If he doesn't the results will likely be disastrous. And yes we hope that many of our goals aren't that serious but we need to think more that way. For example, we might need to lose ten pounds or more.

What if we started thinking that if I don't lose this weight I could end up gaining more, becoming more unhealthy and perhaps not be able to enjoy my family the way I could if I got healthier? To not lose weight with this kind of thinking could be a crisis. That would probably motivate us a lot more than just a list.

Second, we must have a plan. The old adage, you don't plan to fail you just fail to plan, fits here. Write down not only your big goal but the little goals you need to get there. Have someone doing it with you if possible. Make deadlines for when you will start, join a club or group, start classes, etc.

Ideally, have an accountability partner keeping tabs on you, too. Plan to work and work the plan.

Third, we must get real. So many of our resolutions are just talk, way beyond our resources or ability and discourage us just thinking about them. So start at a realistic trailhead. Make sure you can accomplish the first few steps before you commit to the bigger ones. And if you can't really do this find something else!

Fourth, anticipate and then enjoy your early successes. Dave Ramsey, financial expert, tells couple in large amounts of debt to first pay off the smallest amount. That way they get success and can apply those funds to the next smallest sum. We need to do the same no matter what our goal is. Get to the first plateau and celebrate it, encourage yourself and look forward to the next one.

Finally, remember that God wants you to grow, become more like Jesus and to be the person He intended. Invite Him into the process, ask Him for strength and wisdom along the way.

If you'll tackle your resolutions wisely and with God's help they might just turn into a personal revolution!

Are You Really A Winner or Not?

I watched two vastly different scenarios this weekend during the Winter Olympics. One athlete came from out of nowhere and won the gold. The other was expected to win or at least medal and didn't even come close.

Who won? It depends. In human, Olympic terms, the gold medalist won. The other was a disappointment at best. But the real winner will be the one who responds with a winning attitude.

What would a winning attitude look like?  Certainly it would not be without sadness. After all that work, training, money and time given to the pursuit of a medal only an automaton would not feel great emotion in missing out on a prize. But a winning attitude can still bring great outtcomes and benefits in the months and years ahead.

Four time World Champion Christopher Bowman never won a figure skating medal. Neither did Rudy Galindo or Nicole Bobek. In professional sports, Charles Barkley, Dan Marino and Ted Williams didn't win a championship either.

But those who don't win the big one, don't summit their Everest or McKinley, can still win in life.  What will it take?

First it requires thankfulness. How many people actually get the chance to be in the Olympics, the championship game or on the slopes of an 8000 meter peak? For the rest of us, how many people get to live to be our age, have the advantages or relationships we have or enjoy the education, experiences and blessings we have been given? Be thankful for something.

Second, it requires a healthy view of oneself.  If our worth is tied up in our achievements and accomplishments then that worth can be snatched a way in one loss of an edge, one missed basket, one failed exam or one setback to our health. We must know that our ultimate worth only comes from the One who made us. No one can take that away.

Third, it requires humility. When others outperform us, when someone else gets the top prize or is more successful we must humbly let them have their moment, celebrate with them not in spite of them. Maybe you need to encourage someone else right now as a way to actually live this one out.

So if you feel like you "lost" something this week, month or year, if that goal you were reaching for slipped away at least for now, still enjoy the moments you've been given. Don't be paralyzed. Let this loss challenge and motivate you to keep going and to never quit climbing. Someday you'll be at the top of some mountain and the view will be worth it!

Are You a Don't or Won't Climber

In 1996 the climbing world lost several famous, experienced climbers and others just trying to summit in a set of tragic circumstances chronicled by Jon Krakauer in his book Into Thin Air. Sadly, it was discovered later that one key principle was broken over and over by guides who simply knew better.

That principle? You must be off the summit before 2pm. No exceptions, no other options. Discussions about that guideline were held over and over and yet at least two groups ignored that rule and people died as a result.

You see, some people like Ed Viesturs look at a guideline like that as something they don't do. There isn't any decision that needs to be made in his mind. If  it's two o'clock or will be before you summit you turn around and head down. Perhaps a closer to home example of this would be for someone who has a serious food allergy such as peanuts.

People with a peanut allergy know that they can die if they eat even one small nut, so they have developed a don't mentality about peanuts. Even if the Queen of England or the President invites them to a meal and peanuts are served, they don't eat them - period.

On the other hand if you just think that you usually won't do something you have a harder time deciding.  You base your decisions on the circumstances, what others think and how they might react. So sometimes you give in just to please people or avoid extra drama. With some things that may not be a big deal but with other decisions a wrong or hasty choice can be destructive and dangerous.

So just like on Everest there are probably some things we need to turn into Don't choices that can keep us safe, healthy and growing.  Ask yourself, How should I fill in this blank:  I don't ____________________  any more?  Maybe it's that you don't argue with people about things that don't matter, you don't give in to everyone else's demands or you don't take unhealty and ptentially dangerous risks that you used to take.

You figure out what's best and stick to it.  But let me warn you that sometimes your friends will disagree or think you're too legalistic or rigid.  Keep your commitments anyway.  It's your life and sometimes our choices can really mess up a good thing.

And once you come up with your Don't list start living with it.  Make decisions with your don't list in mind. Compliment yourself or enjoy the compliments of others when they see you stand strong.  If you're going to continue climbing, you have to know what you will and not do.  And it's pretty important that you decide before you get some place where it's especially hard to make the right decision.

Never quit climbing.

Please Climb Responsibly . . . Uh, Yeah?

Have you seen that little phrase on certain food packaging now that says Please eat responsibly.  I'm picturing the people who don't eat responsibly . . . are they eating pieces of lead or grass from the lawn or what?  Do they chow down every day on paper, school glue and mouthwash right out of the bottle?  I doubt it.

Sure, we might not eat as wisely as we should but irresponsible eating seems a bit over the top.

It seems obvious what responsible eating is.  It should just come naturally. Even my one-year-old grandson, while he could pick up something he shouldn't have and swallow it, knows how to eat a lot of right things on his own.

However, in life we can eat irresponsibly in one sense.  It's when we ingest certain things that aren't healthy and won't help us heal, grow or reach our personal summit. Let me warn you about a few.

Don't digest the unhelpful advice of others.  Too many people want to tell you that their way is the only way. They have been in your shoes, had your illness or whatever and want to get you to follow their exact steps in overcoming. Of course, pull out anything that might be helpful but don't feel like you need to have the whole meal deal from them. It probably won't work the same way for you.

Second, don't eat the it's not really that bad syndrome.  We all like to think that it's other people who have the problems or that our symptoms are merely the result of some small little thing that can be easily remedied or that we've already dealt with. Remember that true health comes not from getting rid of symptoms but by healing the tumor or condition within that needs attention.  There is no shame in facing our own weaknesses.  That's usually the only way of restoring relationships and becoming truly healthy.

Third, don't feast on pity, regret and the rest of the past. We can learn from the past and should but we can't change it. Today is what it is - period. We can spend a lot of energy wishing for things to be different when we could use that energy to make things in the future different!  That's why we need to keep climbing, to not give up and to take ownership for our part of the situation and change it.

So yes, like the commercial says, when it comes to your personal life please eat responsibly even if it includes a little dessert.

Improving Your "Serve" When You're Hurting Will Serve You Well.

Do you know anybody who seems paralyzed by their circumstances?  No, they're usually not really paralyzed but they live that way. They are so overwhelmed and burdened by what has happened to them that they become mired in the quick sand of the events that seemingly changed their lives. They have lost their motivation to do much of anything much less do something for someone else.

It is though they took their worth and purpose, placed it on a silver platter and handed it to someone else to care for.  Maybe you're someone like this.

If so, there is hope for you. But you'll have to look beyond the comfort of your home and the safety of sitting around doing nothing.

The hope will come from a place you might least expect it: serving someone else. 

When we decide to serve others several good things happen. First of all, we begin to realize that we aren't the only person around hurting or struggling. We see that we're not alone and we often find someone who can speak into us as well and provide encouragement and strength.

Second, we see clearly that we do have something to offer others. Our experiences can often be the journey up the trail that someone else needs to help them make it. The fact that we have been there can encourage another person and convince them that yes they too can make it.

Third, we get our eyes off our personal issues. Sure the struggle will still be there but it doesn't own most of our time, thinking, and activities. We control our problems better when we enter into those of others.

So, do you want to get better? Think about improving your serve. Start now. Start today. And don't quit.

Making A Difference Makes A Difference

Mark suffers from significant depression. It's not all his fault. Much of his down-ness is a result of clinical, physiological factors. Nonetheless, he feels lonely and discouraged most of the time. He thinks he's been a failure with his kids who are now adults.

I don't think a day goes by when Mark isn't confronted by the blackness of his despair.

And yes, Mark needs medications prescribed by a psychiatrist and has tried most of them, if not all. He's currently trying a new electronic stimulus regimen that has shown some promise. I wish him the best in that.

However, it's important to know that there are typically parts of depression that those who suffer can do something about, even those with cases as severe as Mark's. No, we can't treat the biological factors but we can do something about those symptoms that come from a different place - our mind.

And one of the prevailing thoughts of people who are depressed is that they simply do not matter any more.  They've come to believe that they serve little to no meaningful purpose in this life and that nothing they do any more really makes a difference. And of course that kind of thinking only fuels their depression rather than helping it.

So what does someone who thinks they don't matter any more do? They act in ways that matter.  Or as the title of this article suggest, making a difference makes a difference!

How can that happen if you or someone you know is depressed?  Go back and take inventory of your gifts, talents and resources.  Remind yourself what you still have to offer others.

Second, start using those resources to serve someone else. Depending on your condition you may have to start simple and small, but start somewhere. Volunteer at your church or a nearby shelter, do something kind for a neighbor, offer to assist at the school or just intentionally do something extra special for your family.

Third, chart your progress. Journal, keep a notebook, meet with a counselor, or whatever but periodically take note of how you  have moved on and what you have done for others.

Start making a difference again. Build into someone else's life and get the attention and focus off of you. Because making a difference now will make all the difference later.

Sometimes Getting Started Is The Hardest

I was flying recently and as we readied for take off I noticed the young girl across the center aisle with her coat over her face. The jet raced down the runway and took off beautifully. I love to fly so every trip is still pretty exciting for me.

However, within seconds of leveling off the woman's coat went back into her lap. I looked again her way and she just smiled. "Not real big on flying?" I asked. She responded, "Well, I don't mind the flight part I just don't like taking off."

That same feeling is true of many people facing a mountain in their personal world. They know they need to take some first or next steps but it's scary to get started. The take off is the worst part.

So what can you do if you're feeling a bit paralyzed or fearful about starting out?

First, remember that lots of people just like you have done this before and survived. Just as thousands fly on planes every day and arrived safely, so have people taken on mountains like yours.

Second, by starting out you don't have to take on the whole mountain. Climbing always takes place one step at a time. It's like dieting, exercise or any other new venture those first steps are the hardest and most important. Set out a short and realistic goal or plan out just the next thing you need to do and do it.

Third, get someone else to encourage and even walk with you.  On real mountains climbing alone is rarely wise. The same is true of life mountains. Find a friend who will at least help you make it to the trailhead and get going.

Finally, remember the goal. As we say about mountains the view from the top is worth it. Don't forget what it is you need to overcome, how much better life will be when you do make it and the impact your overcoming will have on others. Ask yourself what the cost will be if you DO NOT start.

Fear doesn't need to paralyze you. In fact, it has no right to do that. So overcome it. Go down the runway or head up the trail. Get started. Usually that's one of the hardest parts.

Even Food Is Better In The Mountains!

Where have you had some of your most memorable meals? Your favorite steak place? The restaurant of a world-renowned chef? As part of an exotic cruise? A huge family holiday dinner? Those kinds of places hold great memories for me too but they're not the best ones.

My favorite meals have generally been lunches . . . eaten on the slopes or summit of a mountain. The meal wasn't fancy by normal standards . . . a sandwich, nuts, fruit and chocolate perhaps. The beverage was usually water or Gatorade. But it was all wonderful. Partly, yes, because the exertion made most anything taste good. Nevertheless, it wasn't the food that I remember most. It was always the view.

I've often hiked or climbed with one or both of my kids and sometimes my wife. And we still say that we've had lunch in some of the most beautiful places in the world. That's what we remember. While we ate the food we drank in the scenery. It's one of the reasons I love the mountains. Little stirs the soul and fills you with energy like the majestic, typically unending scenery in the Rockies, Alps or your favorite mountain region. Not enough people enjoy experiences like this especially when they are climbing their own personal mountains.

Even in hardships we can stop and enjoy beauty that will help give new perspective, connect us with God and refresh our attitude. We need a new setting when we're going through rough times and if it's possible we need to take some time, get out of our struggle for a day and eat a meal up high whether it's alone or with others. And if we can't go up, go out to some special place of beauty.

And while studies show the importance of family mealtimes, I'm convinced that every family needs to have a few meals together above treeline. We would be wise to simplify our lives, lower our demand for more stuff and serve up a few lunches that have views we will never forget.

You may not remember what you had to eat but you'll never forget what you saw. And you'll likely return home filled up with much more than food.

Finish Your Climb Well

David Ragan was in the NASCAR race of his life at the Daytona Five Hundred in 2011. He'd led much of the race and the announcers were explaining all the ways he could win the thing. Yes, a few of the big names were looming but he appeared to have the race in the bag.

He'd raced 498 of 500 laps and was nearing a victory in one of the biggest auto races in the world. But at the restart of the last two laps he was disqualified for switching lanes early. It was something he clearly knew the rules about but jumped early and it cost him the race.

He didn't finish well. And while the beginning and middle of a race or climb are important, completing the journey and doing it well are vital. In fact sometimes the ending is a life or death issue. Remember Dale Earnhardt at Daytona. He tragically died at the end of the race.

Sometimes climbers make the summit but die on the way down due to error, being tired, negligence or all of the above.

And in life we can spend years building a reputation and can lose it in a moment. We must finish well.

Sometimes when life throws a huge mountain of illness, family struggles and losses we can become mean, bitter, angry people instead of walking through and over our challenges with class, grace and hope. Don't go there. Whether it's getting through your chemo, finding a new job or repairing your marriage walk with integrity and strength.

So here are some tips on finishing strong. First, prepare well. Do your best early in the race, climb or your personal mountain and put yourself in position to have lots of energy, endurance and power at the end. Pace yourself, take your time, know your limits and save something for the finale.

Second, don't get overconfident. Being strong, assertive and bold are all wise and typically helpful but cocky climbers are often dead ones. Just because you've made it most of the way doesn't mean you should coast or take it easy.

Third, stay focused on the goal or finish line. David Ragan knew better but lost concentration and made a glaring error that I'm confident he will regret the rest of his life. While we need to rest and take breaks, we must keep reminding ourselves that the whole race, the entire ascent is important. Don't lose sight of the ultimate goal.

Finally, keep other strong people around you who will urge you onward. Race car drivers draft for each other, climbers belay and quarterbacks need their linemen. We're less likely to fail at the end if we have a team who will work together to get there.  Team members also hold us accountable and keep us sharp so we don't have a last minute lapse that can cost us everything.

So, wherever you are on your journey, commit now to finish strong. There will no doubt be people, events and circumstances that you can't control but you can determine how you'll respond to those challenges. Start well, stay balanced, remain focused and count on your team.

And never quit climbing.

We All Need Great Role Models

To be honest, I'm pretty tired of the hypocrisy. It shows up everywhere but let me use Tim Tebow for an example. He tries to be moral (not perfect), he lives what he believes but doesn't shove it down our throats and he actually gives of his resources to help others in a way that's more than a photo op or publicity ploy.  Apparently he has invited a needy child or young person to every game, home or away, paid their travel, provided tickets and then spent time with them afterwards.

And still he gets skewered on many talk shows and made fun of online or SNL. But other athletes who literally change their names for religious reasons or who make every play all about them or whose personal lives are a disaster or a string of using other people for their own gain?  T
hey get a pass. In fact, they sometimes become more popular, applauded and listened to for their insights about life.

Ok, enough of my ranting. However, I'm wondering if enough people realize the impact a person who models goodness and character can have. I wonder if we sense the problem that continually putting people of questionable repute in the limelight can be in our culture.

Of course we've been doing this for years. Athletes, actors, politicians and famous business people of questionable reputation are regularly sought out for interviews, book deals, advice and the hosting of talk shows.  And that phenomenon probably isn't going to change.

But it can for us. We can and need to have people around us who influence us be people who are worth modeling, listening to and admiring. As we climb on our own challenging journey we must have people who prod us to take the high road, even the hard road, not the easy way that so many suggest we trod. I think of the Hollywood types who here and there give some money to a current cause and then have nothing to do with it a week later.

I'd love to see some of them suggest that they all agree to cancel one of their award shows and give the millions it takes to produce the show to one of their causes. That's harder. I'd love to seem some of them actually get involved in that cause for years, not days, and truly make a difference.

Those would be the kinds of people more worth following. And frankly, there are thousands more just like that, just like Tim Tebow, with whom we may disagree or agree with on faith, but who are still worth wanting to emulate in some way. More of them are probably not famous but live next door or down the street.

Nonetheless, the hoopla about Tebow could at least help us to remember what's really important in a person. Listen to the recent comments of ESPN commentator, Rick Reilly, regarding Tebow: "I'm a 100% believer. Not in his arm. Not in his skills. I believe in his heart."  Find more people around you whose heart is worth believing in. It will make all the difference in the world on your climb. It's those kind of people who will not only help change you but can impact others that you love.

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The Power of Remembering Our Last Summit

Climbing will at some point be hard for most people. If it's not ever hard then perhaps we're not stretching our abilities and attempting challenges bigger than we are. When it comes to life's mountains though we don't usually get a choice. They usually just start hard.

And while the journey and climb will probably be overwhelming at times and more than we can bear, there is something that can keep us motivated to continue. It's remembering our last success, the latest summit. It's going back in our minds to the moment we stood on top of that mountain, looked at the view and embraced the accomplishment and the moment it gave us.

There was a practice that God gave the Jewish people in the Old Testament.  Now and then he told them to build a monument using twelve large stones to remind them of something special He had done for them at that spot. It was their remembrance that with His help they could get through something just as difficult again.

We need to have those summit experiences as the monuments in our minds that keep us going when the new climb gets difficult. It wouldn't be all bad to just carry a picture from a previous climb. Or in the case of a life climb, we can get our pictures from the words of a friend, talking about our last success or even a momento with a few words on it that remind you that you'll make it.

Whatever works for you, do some remembering. Go back periodically and write or talk about those summits you've done. Do a blog if you're so inclined. I know one author who carries a small toy around with him wherever he goes. Others wear a cross, some carry a card with a helpful motto on it. There are scores of ways to easily remember what you've done and which will motivate you to continue even when you're feeling pretty bad.

Remember to remember. It may be part of your climbing gear and lifeline that gets you to the top.