The Black Holes That Tend to Defeat Us

I'm not much of a scientist. Ok, I'm not at all a scientist. I hated biology, struggled with chemistry and almost failed physics. But I have heard of black holes in space. And while I'm sure they are complicated essentially their strong gravitational pull drags everything around them into them. In fact the term black hole is now used in everyday language to describe anything that continually consumes resources, time or energy.

Unfortunately, there are lots of everyday black holes in life that particularly hinder those of us who are climbing, climbing our own personal mountains, trying to overcome big-time challenges and the like.

Let me suggest a few as a warning and to perhaps help you separate yourself from one or more that are holding you back.

There is the black hole of your past. The things that were said about you, the disappointments you had, the goals you never reached or the failures you experienced. They  have a way of sucking the life out of us so that we never try anything, stay stuck in a dead end job or continually just dull our pain.

There is the black hole of denial.  There are things you need to face, deal with, change and admit but you keep looking the other way never wanting to face your own culpability, weaknesses and flaws.

There is the black hole of blame. In your denial, you spend much of your time blaming other people.  If only they hadn't acted or spoken a certain way your life would be so much different. And maybe that's true but your continued blame of them has you paralyzed. There are things you could do, make better and change about your thinking but your focus on others keeps you stuck.

There is the black hold of comfort. Changing, improving, overcoming and getting to the summit all require work and you're pretty comfortable where you are. You're like the people who stop at the chalet going up the mountain to have some hot chocolate and rest. The problem is they like it there so much they quit climbing and never go any further.

Do you see the problem with black holes?  They are the kind of thing that keep sucking life, energy, hope and peace out of us. Maybe you have different ones than those I've described. Face them and then destroy them. They have no right to run your life or stop your progress. Ask God to give you insight, wisdom and strength to keep going.

The black holes in space are probably there to stay but yours can be gone if you'll just demand it.

Sometimes We Do Need To Be Rescued . . .It's OK.

When my wife and I were in Yosemite in September we happened to be driving near El Capitan on our way out of the park one afternoon. Seeing all sorts of cars parked along the side of the road and scores of people focused on the cliff, we stopped hoping to get a chance to watch some climbers climb or so we thought.

However, as we began to talk to people they explained that a rescue of an injured climber was in progress. And with some binoculars and my wife's telephoto lens we were able to hone in on the scene.

The rescue team was some fifteen hundred feet up starting to belay a guy down on a stretcher who had broken his arm. This was no small rescue either. To bring someone down they have to helicopter a three thousand foot, thirteen mm rope to the top and then belay from there. But I'll bet that climber was thankful for their efforts.

When we're in crisis or on a difficult life climb we too may need rescue. Ideally it is not because we were foolish or not careful. But there should be no shame in requiring the help of others. What might we need rescue for?

We may need rescue from our fears. Life's challenges, especially illnesses and injury, can cause our fear factor to go sky high. Therefore, we may need the help of someone who's been up this mountain before to help calm our fears. We might be wise to get some spiritual guidance and counseling. It's OK to be rescuing.

We may need rescue from unhelpful people. Many people mean well but do harm. They throw out easy answers, won't be quiet or leave us alone. They often want us to heal or get better the same way they did or they might not have a clue but want to tell us how to make it anyway.  We need someone who can help us figure out how to respond kindly, but firmly. Or they can run some interference for us.

We may need rescue from everyday challenges. We can face financial, social, work and family problems when we're climbing our mountain. Everything gets harder when life is hard. Don't be afraid to ask for help from others, your church, a local group, a support group or whoever. Sometimes we forget that others have more resources than we do just because they aren't going through our challenges. And someday you may be in their position to help them.

We may need rescue from wrong thinking. Struggle and hardship can cause us to do all sorts of dumb things we would never do otherwise. We will sometimes do anything to lessen the pain. Have someone in your life who can speak truth to you without wavering. Get connected to God again or more closely and let Him remind you what is really the truth. Jesus said, "The truth will make you free."

So if you need to be rescued, don't hide. Let the search party do their job. You need to go on. They can help. Just don't do it by yourself.

Everyone's Capable of Falling

My wife was recently in the hospital for some unexpected gall bladder surgery.  However, when she got back to her room I noticed among the assortment of security bracelets she was given, she was wearing a bright yellow one with the words FALL RISK on it. Because she had had anesthesia she was going to be a bit wobbly for a while so everyone around her got a warning. Good idea.

It might be a good idea however if we all wore one of those bracelets all the time to remind us all that we too are always capable of falling. We too are at risk.

We may have had a personal mountain to climb or be on one made of granite but we're all capable of falling. We may think that our youth or resources or confidence or even faith trumps all stumbles but none of them are guarantees.

We would all be wise to do all we can to prepare for the possibility of a fall. Should we live terrorized or in fear all the time?  Of course not. Should we never take any risks because we might go down? Never.

But we must never get cocky thinking that somehow our skills or whatever will keep us from the worst. What does that mean in our climbing?

First, it means we climb as well-prepared as possible. We take what we need for the kind of climb we're on. We take all the "gear" we need including things that we'll need in an emergency. You'll need to decide what that is or talk to some experts depending upon whether you climb is cancer, divorce, job loss or the Matterhorn.

Second, we surround ourselves with the people we need with us.  We don't get cocky thinking that we don't need others to help us on our climb. If we're grieving we get with others who've grieved before us. If we're depressed we find others who've been up the trail before us.

Third,we admit that we too are capable of falling during this climb - morally, spiritually, emotionally or yes even physically. But our admission of that possibility keeps us thinking clearly and avoiding unnecessary chances that could be destructive and harmful.

So, whatever you're climbing during this season remember you're a fall risk, too. That doesn't make you weak, however, just smart!  And more likely to make it to the top!

Luck Rarely Gets You To The Summit

I was in a convenience store recently and watched the woman in front of me plunk down sixty dollars for lottery tickets. And maybe she felt that this was a particularly lucky week but I got the feeling she did this all the time. It wasn't one of the "mega" type jackpots either where people spend all sorts of money once a year hoping to win the hundreds of millions.

She, like many, was probably hoping that luck would change everything and she was willing to sacrifice some of her resources to take that risk? And could a life change by playing the lottery? I suppose so though the statistics aren't very good for people who suddenly get rich. Even so, there's only one chance in scores of millions that any one person wins anyway.

It seems to me that luck is a pretty risky way to try and climb higher in life. Luck rarely gets people through cancer to a new job after many lean years or moved on following a messy divorce. Luck has no real power to help us other than to show up now and then but we can't control it anyway.

Summiting, whether a granite mountain or a life challenge, requires some other important things be substituted for mere good fortune. Like what?

Knowledge is a good place to start. Learning what we can about our disease, our challenge or options to  is vital. And in the age of the Internet (though not everything there is true or helpful) there is no excuse for not learning more.

I remember coming down Mt. of the Holy Cross in Colorado with my son. Unfortunately we got lost on the way down in the fields of boulders. There were cairns that we saw on the way up but we unwisely didn't look for them and got off the best route back to our trail. So we bushwacked our way hustling to outrun an approaching storm so we could get down to treeline.

All of a sudden we came upon a trail thinking we would be way off course only to realize later that it was the right one. We got lucky! But we would have done better if we simply had been better prepared and learn the correct route ahead of time.

Taking some wise next steps also beats luck. Many people get paralyzed by their struggle so they spend lots of time and energy hoping that something (like the lottery) or someone will get them out of their jam. And of course other insightful people can be wonderfully helpful but sometimes we need to merely take some next steps too and go as far as we can with what we know.

If you're on a challenging mountain like Everest you'd better plan to get to base camp first before you start thinking much about camp 4. And often that success, though limited, can also give you some encouragement and momentum.

Third, persevering always beats luck. Lucky people rarely win or even finish races but those who keep going usually at least finish. That's why I call this blog and website Never Quit Climbing. Don't stop, don't get paralyzed, don't give up. In fact the best option is to make the decision to keep going before you ever start out.

Perseverance is a decision, but one you probably don't want to try to make on the spot.

But whatever you do don't count on luck. If it bails you out from time to time, OK. But remember luck is just that - the chance that something good happens when you most need it. The better way is to do what you need to do so you never need it in the first place.

Sometimes a Little Fire and Heat Are Necessary

Tomorrow my wife and I get on a plane for San Francisco. After a couple of days there we'll drive to Yosemite National Park for a week of anticipated vacation, hiking and picture-taking. The problem is there are wildfires that have currently entered the park and caused hundreds of acres of damage. And while the valley has not had any fire in it per se, there have been days when the winds have blown smoke into the valley covering the beautiful peaks and cliffs.

If that happens while we're there we're going to miss out on the gorgeous views and inspiring hiking and be hugely disappointed.

However, we have to remember something important about what is transpiring there even though the cause of the fire appears to be manmade. Sometimes fire is necessary or at least helpful in the middle of beauty because it provides a natural clearing of materials that will in the long run be harmful, not helpful. Sometimes dead brush begins to pile up on top of the lush ground and will eventually be either a deadly hazard for the next fire or keep the vegetation from growing effectively.

I've seen officials in beautfiul parks in the Midwest light controlled fires to burn away that extra, needless and harmful brush so that the living vegetation can grow as it should.  But for a while, it's not pretty. The charred remains of that brush hardly look appealing or attractive.

That can often be true during our life climbs through illnesses, family challenges and personal struggles. Often there is a fire of sorts that comes out of nowhere. It adds heat, conflict and temporary ugliness to our  lives and may have even been needlessly caused by someone who was careless.

Sometimes . . . not always . . . but yes, sometimes, those fires will be for our own good and will help burn away some of the things holding us back from growing and actually climbing higher.

For example, those fires can burn away false expectations. Sometimes we are still living in past, with an old picture that we're still demanding return when in reality in never will. The fire can help us see a newer picture again and let go of returning to day that are gone.

Fires can burn away our distractions. Often we become obsessed with getting even, getting healed, returning to the past or finding an answer to "why."  But those things are usually keeping us from focusing on the present where we need to be to continue climbing well and moving forward.

Fires can also burn away unhealthy emotions. Some of us are still living with anger, despair and panic about things that can't be changed.  When we let some of the emotions go along with the reasons for them we can start climbing more freely and minus a great deal of weight that we've been carrying around.  We can see God again in our circumstances and trust him for new expectations, a new picture and new emotions.

So, are there some fires burning in your Yosemite?  Try to put them out, perhaps, but let them do the good things they can do. It will help you to keep climbing higher and better.

Slow Down - You Will Climb Higher and Better

I've watched my share of great climbers (I'm not one of them). And I'm always amazed by their patience, deliberation and pauses to ponder their next move. Unless they are in a competition for time, they rarely rush. They know that great climbing is not a race, it's a journey. It's not a competition but a conquering. Getting to the summit must not be hurried.

And yet so much of our culture models and requires hurry. I was driving home from lunch with my wife today and behind me a woman in her SUV was clearly frustrated and appeared angry that she could not make me go faster. I couldn't have if I wanted to but that didn't matter to her.

I then needed to change lanes and watched her place her bumper inches behind the next car. She would jerk forward hoping to go on and then slam on her brakes when the car in front of her had to stop again. She was a mess . . . and in a hurry. I don't think she was having fun.

Yes, there are times to hurry - to the hospital, when late for work or to help a friend in need perhaps. But most of the time hurry can be at worst disastrous and at best distracting. Disastrous when we make a horrible mistake and the result is unnecessary catastrophy. Distracting when our constant harried pace through life or a climb causes us to miss some of the views, the moments, the experiences that are what life is really about.

We can hurry through the early days of marriage, the young or even teen years of our kids. We can hurry through each day and miss special moments hearing the stories of people all around us or seeing special moments of life. We can hurry through our job and not enjoy the simple accomplishment of success or a project well done.

Who of us hasn't said I wish I would have ____________ when I was ___________?   I wonder if we would have less of those wishes if we'd only hurried less.

Some suggestions?  Do some intentional slowing down. Drive slower, eat slower, talk less, remove a few unnecessary things from your schedule. Get rid of the thinking that you're have to live up to some sort of potential.  Guess what?  You never will so stop trying.

Drop your entitlement thinking.  We all believe that we're entitled to that place on the road, that next step up the corporate ladder, that activity or school for our kids.  It's alright to do your best to get for you or your family a certain benefit but when we starting demanding those benefits we start hurrying more and often there is a price to pay.

Give yourself more time.  Whether it's a real mountain or a life mountain or just a daily acitivity purposely plan more hours or minutes to do it, not less. As one writer calls it add margin to your life.  Even God took time to rest, to slow down.  If He can, we can too.

Very few great things are easy or quick. Spend your time this week, this month, this year doing more great things with your life . . . but you will have to slow down.

Living in the One Percent

I've had the opportunity to stand on nine or ten summits over 14,000 feet in my life. I've been blessed to travel to Russia fifteen times and another trip is on the horizon. I've hiked for days near the Matterhorn, one of the most beautiful mountains in the world. I got to take a zipline from next to the Great Wall of China across a lake flying hundreds of feet in the air.

And in each of these scenarios and others like them I wondered to myself:  What percentage of people in the world have done this or been here? And of course I don't know the amount but I'm pretty sure it's quite small, less than one percent.  I remember thinking, "I am so fortunate to be here because very few have experienced this."

But I also know this . . . those moments were some of the most alive times in my life. Most of them required sacrifice, hardship, pain and/or fear but they were worth it. They were opportunities that the majority of other people either couldn't or wouldn't take advantage of because in many cases they were too busy doing what everyone else does.

Is that you  and your family too?  Just accomplishing a lot of great things but doing what most other people do every day. Are you just a clone in a busy culture but with little uniqueness of your own?

And before you think I was just off doing special adventures let me explain what led to the above activities. The mountains were largely climbed with one or more of my kids or my wife. They were special family moments we would never forget.

The trips to Russia have been to teach, help, encourage and train others in ministry, to help them more effectively share their Christian faith with their people. The Matterhorn trip was a twenty-fifth wedding anniversary trip with Jackie and the Great Wall opportunity was part of a trip to see our daughter and son-in-law serving God in China.

REMEMBER: If you want your one percent choices to be extra special do something that involves things that truly matter - ministry, family and helping others.

It is so easy to just coast through life making money, getting stuff and trying to just be happy. But living in the one percent is more about finding joy, giving things away and discovering that the things that are worth the most actually cost the least in everyday terms. You don't need dollars, pesos, rubles or Euros to buy them.  But you do have to plan them, look for them, pray about them and be intentional about living life differently from the masses.

Look for a cause, a mission, a neighbor to help. Find an adventure that your family will never forget and yet which teaches eternal truths and makes a lifelong difference in someone. And when you do you will find that your life is alive in a way you've rarely experienced before and you will never go back.

Start now.